Sparkling Angel, I'm Ok
by SparklingAngel917
Summary: Bella is secretly abused by Charlie, when Edward leaves in New Moon who will be there to pick up the pieces? Will she ever get her happy ever after? Rated M for violence, language, and lemons later.
1. Prologue

**A/N I don't own anything, but my own imagination. The characters sadly belong to the talented Mrs. Stephenie Meyer and the lyrics belong to the ever beautiful Christina Aguilera.**

**Alright guys, this is my first published works. Let me know what you think. **

**This story will contain violence and mentions incest, not graphically.**

**Sparkling Angel, I'm Ok**

**Prologue:**

_It's been 6 months since I've been living here with Charlie. Things started out fine, I was fine until the memories surfaced in my bedroom. The nights I witnessed him slap my mother. The nights I got too close… It was a secret I vowed to never speak of again. Charlie was the Chief of Police now, surely he'd changed. I was right things were good… until he would drink…_

_**Once upon a time there was a girl**_

_**In her early years she had to learn**_

_**How to grow up living in a war that she called home**_

_**Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm**_

_**Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face**_

_**Every time my father's fist would put her in her place**_

_**Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room**_

_**Hoping it would be over soon…**_

_Most people think that Renee and I fled when I was barely a year old. In truth we weren't allowed to leave the house… My mom had the courage to take us away after my 5th__ birthday. Once his rage began to physically harm us both. But she didn't know he'd always hit me. Even as a small baby. The marks hidden by my clothes. I went with what the town thought, how could I ever even implicate him without serious consequences._

_Then there was Edward, so protective of his 'clumsy' human. If only he knew, I wasn't as clumsy as most thought. But he would kill Charlie, and that would be bad for everyone. I wasn't worried for Charlie's sake, I could care less. I worried that Edward, and his family would be implicated. I knew what it would do, and I knew I would lose them all. _

_Edward and his family were out on an extended hunting trip, my birthday was in a couple of days and they wanted to be prepared. This was the only time I was safe enough to write in my diary…_

Dear Diary,

It's me again. Edward is hunting again. So here I am sitting in my small bedroom, at Charlie's house. Looking at the four walls that use to keep me safe from **him**. I am so glad I'm such a freak of nature that Edward can't read my mind. He would kill Charlie if he ever knew the truth. I really miss mom, I still can't believe she let me come here, I don't talk to her enough to know how she's doing. I don't think she wants to hear the truth. That when Charlie drinks he's the same person we left… She's finally happy, really happy. I was making her unhappy, the child that was a mistake. She'd never say that, but I sometimes read it in her face. She wouldn't have had to put up with Charlie for so long if it wasn't for me. I still wish she would show me the love and affection she used to. I often wonder how Alice doesn't see… But it's usually spur of the moment. She's always so nice to Charlie though… It's grating on my nerves. Hopefully after my birthday I can convince Edward to change me. I don't belong in this world of abuse. Where my mother who was once my strength doesn't seem to care.

Bella

I closed the book looking at it with disdain. This inanimate object, the only witness to the many years of abuse and therapy. What had I been thinking coming home again? What's that old saying, "You can't go home again." How right they were.

I looked over at my worn night stand at the clock. Noon. Saturday at noon. Charlie was more than likely out fishing with his best friend Billy Black, or Harry Clearwater.

I climbed out of the bed gingerly wincing at the pain and discomfort between my legs… Last night had been bad, the worst yet. He thought I was Renee, my mother. My cries and screams weren't enough to save me. I almost wished that Edward would come back early and save me… I grabbed a tank top and a comfortable pair of sweats and meandered down the hallway to the shared bathroom. I noted the dirty pair of boxers and towel bunched on the floor.

I made an ick face, and decided I would deal with it after my shower. However the shower didn't help like it normally would, it made parts of my body sting. I winced as I rinsed the soap from my body. I rang my hair out and pulled a towel securely around my waist. Then I walked back to my room.

I dressed quickly and decided I would start a load of laundry, it was best to make sure the house was clean on days Charlie didn't have to work. The less he had to complain about, the safer I was if he decided to drink.


	2. Chapter 1 : Save Me

**Chapter 1: Save Me**

I sat in the kitchen nibbling small bites off the still scalding hot grilled cheese I'd just made. I was a human, I needed to eat, but it was the furthest thing on my mind. I was working through best and worst case scenarios for tonight. I had all my ingredients to make chicken enchilada's and clothes in the dryer. I looked down at my unappetizing grilled cheese sandwich and tossed it in the trash. I stood up and pulled out all the ingredients that I'd already prepped. Once I had them put together with my homemade sauce on top I placed foil over them and stuck them in the oven.

I walked to the living room to write my Romeo and Juliet essay when the phone rang. I sighed and walked back to the kitchen lifting the phone from the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi Bella." Alice's unusually cheery voice rang like soft bells.

"Alice!" I exclaimed, relief flooding my body.

"I'm kidnapping you for the night." She giggled.

"What's the occasion?" I asked.

"Edward doesn't like leaving you alone, so it'll just be you and me."

I frowned, "What about…"

"Taken care of. You'll see." She chuckled mysteriously. "Finish your essay." she added.

"Ok Alice. I'll see you later?" I asked the hope bursting through.

"Of course."

The line went dead and I took a deep breath sighing out in relief. A night at the Cullen's was a rare night indeed. I didn't have to watch what I said, or how I behaved, I was free to be just Bella. It was where I had a real mother, a mother who cooked and fawned over you, a father who was concerned and loving, siblings that would die for you…

It was the only place I could really be me, I wasn't the battered child anymore. The child holding her mother back from being truly happy. The daughter who's existence forced her father to drink, inevitably breaking up the picture perfect marriage…

I was in a better mood when I sat in front of the coffee table. The essay wasn't such a daunting task anymore, it flowed as easy as air. I was finishing up when I heard the front door open.

"Smells good in here." Charlie called out gruffly.

I stood up stretching and walked briskly into the kitchen. I pulled out the Enchilada's and two plates to prepare servings. Charlie got the most whereas I only could eat one. I finished popping his on his plate and walked it to the table, pouring him a glass of homemade lemonade. The family recipe his own mother used to make. Grams. I missed her.

He walked in and looked around appreciatively.

"Looks nice in here."

He started to move towards me when the doorbell rang. He gave me a cold hard stare. Before retreating towards the door.

"Hello Charlie." I heard Alice greet.

"Alice honey, it's great to see yah!" My father smiled happily.

I rolled my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek to stop the tears that threatened to spill. No one ever sounded that happy when I arrived somewhere. It hurt more than anyone would ever know, to have your father shun you, while welcoming your very best friend.

They walked together into the kitchen and Alice gave me a sad look before returning to her peppy self.

"Well everyone decided to go camping, I opted out this time." Alice told Charlie with a frown.

He gave her a sympathetic shoulder squeeze, "Bella you should keep Alice company for the night." Then paused, "Only if your homework is finished."

"I just finished as you walked in." I told him pointing to the table.

"Well alright then. When do you want her over?"

"If she comes with me now, we can just make it to the mall." Alice grinned heartwarmingly.

"yeah go on, you kids have fun."

I mentally thanked my stars and wandered back into the living room to straighten up before heading upstairs to my room where Alice was waiting.

"You're already packed." She told me.

We left the house and I was stuck with a feeling of unease, but I waited until we were both in the car before I spoke.

"Is something wrong?" I asked her.

"I don't know Bella. Sometimes I see you, and other times you completely disappear. I got worried when your future disappeared this evening and decided to keep a watch on you."

I felt the lump rise in my throat. Disappear? Was… was he going to kill me? Would I die before I ever had a chance to really live?

"It could all be solved if Edward would just change me." I huffed attempting to make light of the situation.

"What were you going to do tonight?" Alice asked with real concern.

But she couldn't hide the suspicion that crossed her face so briefly. She was generally worried, and she hated not knowing everything.

"Honestly I was going to eat dinner with Charlie and go to bed."

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

It was then I almost spilled, I almost told her the whole story, but I couldn't. People would talk if the police Chief disappeared. I couldn't let that happen. Not if it would hurt my new family.

"No, but uhm do you think that my…" I paused forcing the next words out, "Dad will be alright?"

"He'll be fine." She replied.

I'd never been a good liar and I bet Alice saw through me, but she didn't push it. We spent the night doing each others nails and gossiping. She was talking about Jasper and how he was her first. How much she loved him, but then she paused.

"I think I'm going to break up with him soon."

It felt like a thousand jolts had hit me. Alice and Jasper the epitome of the perfect couple were going to break up?

"Why?" I asked her incredulously.

"He's not my true mate. I was supposed to bring him and show him this life. He was never meant for me. I've seen him… My true mate." She smiled shyly, "I just don't know how to tell Jasper."

My heart broke for them both. The pain it would cause both of them, all because of her seeing the future… That can be subjective.

"What about Jasper?"

"He'll be fine Bella, he's strong." she told me confidently.

"Alice… he's not going to leave is he?" As I said the words I immediately questioned myself, why would I care?

"No, he'll stay. I might leave for a while though."

"Alice?"

What would I do without Alice? She was my very best friend… Who would save me?

"You'll be fine Bella. Everyone will be just fine." She assured me with a wink.

"Must be nice… to know things." I told her wistfully.

"What do you wish you knew?" She asked deciphering the true meaning behind my words.

"Nothing…" I lied.

She gave me a patronizing look before smiling brightly. "I'll be back."

I watched her zoom from the bedroom, and I decided while she was gone I would look around her room more. It was a scarce when I was allowed into Alice and Jasper's room.

The walls were lavender and the bed set was whites and soft pinks. I didn't see anything the showed off Jasper's personality in the room. I heard Alice come in behind me just as my stomach growled.

"Dinner time for the human." She sang.

I turned and being served on a silver platter was a lunchmeat sandwich. It looked gourmet and was with perfect apple slices.

"Thanks Alice." I laughed.

"It's good to know things sometimes… If it could help…"

She was baiting me… But it was a story for another time. I couldn't do it.

"I know you know something Alice…" I began carefully, "I love you, and I trust you… But I'm… I can't…" I floundered searching for the right words.

"I know. But I am here. When you're ready…"

"Does Edward…"

"Know? Of course not."

That was when I knew, Alice saw something, and it had been premeditated this time or she wouldn't have seen.

"Alice?"

"Yes Bella?"

"What did you see?"

She frowned at me, she looked so sad, "You know what I saw."

"He was going to kill me this time…"

"This time?" She thundered, "Bella how long has this been going on?"

"Since I was born Alice, it's complicated."

I turned away from my friend wiping my eyes, I took a deep breath and my stomach growled again. I decided I'd had enough talking and ate my dinner quietly. While the possibilities crowded my brain. What did Alice know? She knew more but wasn't going to tell me. I could tell she wanted to. It must have to do with the future. You can't always meddle in the future for fear of changing things…

It was when Alice walked me to Edward's room that I noticed there was now a bed in the center of the room. Golden sheets that matched his topaz eyes.

"Do you like it, love?"

His voice sent a jolt of excitement down my spine.

"Edward!" I exclaimed.

I turned and threw myself recklessly into his arms.

He chuckled holding me close inhaling the fragrance from my hair.

"I missed you too." He mumbled kissing my forehead.

We walked into the room and I tried to hide the huge yawn and failed.

"Come on, bedtime." He smiled.

We lie on the new bed and I was marveled by the softness. It was perfect in almost every way. I snuggled into Edward and he began to hum my lullaby.

_The room was pitch black and I was cowering in the corner of my room. I was partially hidden behind the old rocker that sat there._

"_Bella… You need to come out now." Charlie's voice slurred._

_He stood towering menacingly in the doorway. My body was convulsing and shaking in fear. My jaws were clamped tightly with my hands pressed to my face, in attempts of staying quiet._

_But he found me, he always found me. It was bad. The things he did to my body to reach gratification. He was strangling me. I couldn't breath._

"_Save me… SAVE ME!"_

"Bella… Bella."

I sat up with a start, the sweat dripping off my body. I was still trembling as I tried to remember where I was. I looked to my side where Edward sat motionless, a mask of indifference on his face.

"Edward!"

I launched myself at him, clinging to him like he was a life boat.

"Bella." He breathed his arms carefully holding me.

"You weren't there… He was going to kill me and you weren't there…" I sobbed pathetically into his shirt.

"Who Bella?"

I couldn't really tell him, so I went with what I used to call him.

"The bad man."

"You dream about him a lot." He commented.

"I'll tell you Edward… Not tonight."

He nodded in understanding, kissing me softly.

"I love you Bella…"

**A/N**

**What do you guys think so far? I know it's a bit slow in the beginning but if you continue to read you won't be sorry!**


	3. Chapter 2: Please, Don't

**Chapter 2: Please, Don't**

Dear Diary,

Monday night… My birthday is tomorrow. Edward isn't here yet, he's usually here by now. I find it unsettling. I'm anxious. I don't like being away from him. But it's not so bad. Charlie has been decent. He hasn't been drinking in hopes of seeing Alice. But I know it won't last. It never does. Wish me luck.

I woke up the next morning a feeling of anxiety rolling off my body. I was drenched in sweat, having the same nightmares. I looked around my room disappointed. Had Edward not come at all? Until I spotted a small piece of paper folded and left on the bed.

Bella,

You looked so sweet sleeping, I couldn't bear to wake you.

I'll see you in class.

Happy Birthday, my Love.

I love you.

Edward

It made me smile to know he cared. I got out of bed rubbing the sleep from my eyes and walked over to my closet. I gingerly picked out a pair of my nicer jeans and my red blouse. It was an Alice approved choice of clothing, and something I was comfortable wearing. We'd made a compromise. I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed to the shower. A nice cool shower to wake me up and clean the dirt and sweat from the night off of my body. In my plain white underwear and bra set and the large towel around me I walked back to my room and dressed. I grabbed my backpack and headed down the stairs.

Charlie was waiting for me sitting in his usual chair sipping a cup of black coffee.

"Happy Birthday." He mumbled noncommittally nodding towards the table, "Your mom picked out some gifts."

I walked closer to inspect the table and there was a brand new digital camera and a scrapbook.

"It's for senior year." He told me.

I nodded without really looking at him. I took the scrapbook back up to my room and turned on the ancient computer that was on the desk.

_Mom-_

_The gifts are really great. I'll send you copies from the first roll of film._

I sent the short message and packed the camera with great care into my backpack. I walked back down the stairs bypassing breakfast with Charlie and outside. I was surprised Edward wasn't there to pick me up. I shrugged off the nagging feeling in my chest that something was wrong and climbed into the rusty truck.

"Hey girl." I laughed gently patting the dashboard.

I realized I was beginning to talk to my truck and closed my mouth. I turned the key and jumped when the loud motor roared to life. I'd been so used to the Cullen's and their nice soft sounding cars, I'd forgotten what a beast the truck was.

The ride to Forks High gave me a few minutes to clear my head. I'd already decided that I didn't want to make a big deal of my birthday. But I knew there was going to be nothing that I could do or say to deter Alice.

I parked the truck and approached the group of friends I'd began to love.

"Hey Bella, big day today!" Jess greeted.

My heart sank as I stared at her blankly, silently praying she didn't know.

"R and J essay due…" She trailed off.

"Oh… Right." I laughed trying to pass off my sudden awkwardness.

I pulled out the camera and smiled nervously, "I'm putting a scrapbook of memories together from senior year… You guys…" I trailed off.

"Sure." Mike grinned.

Ah, Mike Newton, even though Edward would obviously take him in a fight, he continued to attempt to persuade me to go out with him. I spent the first part of the morning before glasses joking and taking pictures with all of my human friends.

"Cullen's here." Mike announced disappointedly.

I turned in time to see Edward climbing slowly out of his silver Volvo. It always took my breath away, Edward… The way he could look at me, that made me feel special. That took all the pain from Charlie's harsh words away. I shook my head and bounded over to Edward meeting him halfway. He pulled me into a tight embrace kissing my lips tenderly.

"Happy Birthday." He whispered in my ear.

I sighed but didn't push the issue. Right then I was content to just stay happily in his arms.

"We should get to class." He told me gently, "But someone wants to see you first."

I filed the memory of the jealous tone in his voice, and decided I would ask him about it later. I turned to see my best childhood friend walking towards me with a purpose. Jacob Black. He had grown… Massively.

"Jake." I called out happily.

"Bells." He greeted pulling me to him.

My arms instinctively wound around his neck holding onto him, and his warmth.

"Jake… what happened? You know steroids are bad for you." I attempted to joke.

"Well it wouldn't be so intense if we hung out more." He hinted throwing Edward a look.

"We'll have to work on that." I laughed.

Then he pulled the most beautiful dream catcher from behind his back, I felt my breathing hitch in my throat.

"Happy Birthday." He grinned, "Your dad told mine, and I seen this…" He trailed off.

I took it gingerly from him smiling, "It's perfect. Thank you, Jacob." I wrapped my arms around his massive form hugging him closely. I noticed the crowds thinning quickly and smiled.

"I should get to class."

"Yeah, I'll see you around Bells."

"Definitely."

I turned my back fighting the whirlwind emotions swirling around inside. Jacob was like a younger brother to me, and one of my closest friends. Edward walked beside me on our way to class. His face was stony not giving away any glimpse of emotion. Just blankness.

"Hey." I said poking him in his side, "What's up?"

"It's nothing Bella." He told me smoothly.

I pursed my lips, but I knew a lost cause when I was presented with one. He would never give.

Classes went by faster than I anticipated and luckily for me there was no well wishers and birthday exclamations. It was just what I wanted to, to remain invisible and not be directly in the lime light. Edward was walking silently at my side as we started for the parking lot. It made me uneasy when he was so quiet, I looked at him and into his eyes and was shocked at how black they were.

"Didn't you just go hunting?" I asked him, stopping mid stride to stroke his cheek.

"I'm fine." He told me harshly.

My hand immediately recoiled as if I'd been burned. I didn't understand where his hostility was coming from. I wrapped my arms around my middle and began walking with more purpose to my truck.

"I wish you'd let me replace this pile of junk." He groaned, eyeing my truck with disdain.

"I like it. It was one nice thing my father has done for me. It… You wouldn't understand." I caught myself.

That was a close one. The truck was very special to me. It was a gift from my father. It was a symbol of his love. It reminded me that he wasn't my dad when he was drunk, he was Charlie. Charlie the drunk, the mean abusive drunk. But… the truck showed me that maybe, just maybe there was one redeeming quality about him.

"Bella!" I heard Alice's tinkling voice before I saw her.

The small pixie was hugging me and forcing a rather large package into my hands.

"Alice…" I began my tone warning.

"I've already seen Bella. And you LOVE it!" She giggled.

I sighed, I couldn't begrudge her for being such a good friend.

"You're coming over tonight. We're having a family party." She told me clapping her hands together.

"Do I have to?" I groaned, looking to Edward for help, who's mind was obviously elsewhere.

"Unless you want to say home." I knew by her tone she already knew the answer to that.

"Alright. What time?"

"Edward will pick you up at 7."

"I should go then. I need to get things done at home, and have dinner made for Charlie."

I climbed into my truck and now, more than ever I couldn't shake it. I couldn't shake this horrible feeling, that something was wrong. And not just wrong, but horribly and totally mind altering wrong. I'd never been one to believe in anything mythical or magical. But if Vampires were real then could everything else be real as well?

I got to the house and prepared a small plate of fish and began roasting it. I went to the laundry room to fold all the clean clothes and put them away. I did some homework and then walked upstairs. I opened the package from Alice and it was the most beautiful gown I'd ever seen. It was a thin velvety moss green. It was perfect. I pulled it on and it clung to my body in all the right places and brought out the honey brown in my eyes. I pulled on the ballet flats and examined myself in the mirror. That's when I heard the downstairs door, Charlie was home. Resigned I decided to turn around and go back down to greet him. I pulled the hot pan of fish and chips from the oven and fixed a plate for Charlie with a glass of sweet iced tea.

He stumbled through the door and I could smell the booze, drunk already!

"Bella… BELLA!" He called.

"In here dad… I made you dinner."

He made his way unscathed into the kitchen and stopped dead taking in my appearance.

"Where do you think you're going dressed like that?" He sneered at me.

"Alice is throwing me a birthday party… Edward is picking me up." I told him.

He snorted at that and took a swig from a flask and placed it in his belt. "Edward… I just don't get it." He paused, "What does he see in **you**, you're just plain. Nothing special."

His words hurt more than I could vocalize and I felt the bile rising in my throat, like I would be sick. How easily Charlie would see that I'm not good enough for Edward.

"_You're worth it."_ A comforting Southern tone rang in my head.

Jasper… From when we were on the run from James. He thought I was worth it. For Edward, for the family.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Charlie beat me to it, "You're worthless Bella. You can cook and clean, but no, man would ever want you physically. At least not for love…" He laughed a loud booming laugh, "They'd have to take you from behind or with a bag over your head. Have you looked in the mirror? You're common and plain. Men like exotic and new. You'll never be pretty enough, smart enough, not for Edward Cullen… He'll soon grow bored with you. He's just using you, stringing you along." He laughed again.

I felt the hot and angry tears spring to my eyes. How could my father be so cruel? But he was right. The images of me trying to progress farther with Edward. He always pulled back, leaving me feeling rejected and worthless. Edward didn't want me physically. Could Charlie be right.

Before I could really begin to analyze everything there was a knock at the door. Charlie had sank into his seat and was eating, well if you could call inhaling your food eating.

"I'll be back." I said in a small voice and opened the door.

Edward stood there perfectly like Adonis is his perfect ways. Charlie's words were eating at me from inside. I wanted to tell Edward, so he could tell me that Charlie was wrong… But I didn't have it in me. What if Charlie was right? I would lose everything. I wasn't ready. So I kept my mouth shut.

"You look great." I told him honestly.

Edward looked me over and frowned, "I prefer you in blue, but you still look pretty."

His words stung. I held the tears back. I decided to hold it all in. I wouldn't cry. I needed to be strong. Edward wouldn't believe a human could feel all these emotions anyways.

The drive to his house was quick. "Bella, Alice wants you."

Edward flitted into the house leaving me feeling confused. The thing ebbing away inside me flared again. This was all wrong. Something was wrong.

I walked into the house to be greeted by Jasper. His golden eyes were the lightest shade I'd ever seen them.

"Happy Birthday, Bella." He smiled almost shyly holding out a small box.

I looked at him quizzically taking the box. Inside was a small plain silver necklace with the Cullen clan charm.

"It's beautiful." I told him scrambling to put it on.

"Allow me ma'am." He smirked.

I turned so my back was to him and felt the calm as he pushed it in to me. I could never hide my feelings from Jasper, and he could feel them all now. My pain, anger, confusion, self worth, and my vulnerability.

"You're worth it Bella." He told me as he clasped the necklace on.

I turned and smiled weakly, "Thank you, Jasper."

He smiled, but his eyes were burning. I couldn't understand the desire built behind his eyes and I turned quickly and fled up the stairs to Alice's room. She was waiting at the top of the stairs for me. She looked at the necklace and smiled. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the room. I noticed again at the lack of Jasper in the room.

"Alice?"

"He has his own room down the hall now."

"Alice… why?"

"I told you Bells. We weren't meant for each other."

I felt an odd sensation tug on my heart. It ached for Jasper, it explained the sadness in his eyes. He was feeling great loss at his separation from Alice.

"You look sensational." Alice smiled brightly.

Then before I knew it, it was time. Alice led me down the stairs and I was in awe. The floors were everywhere giving the room a calming and sweet scent. It was comforting. There was a cake large enough to feed a small army.

"Alice… I'm never going to eat all of this!" I gasped looking around.

"We tried to reign her in…" Esme offered apologetically.

"As if that were even possible." Carlisle grinned.

"Oh please, it's a real birthday!" Alice giggled.

The smiles and laughter was infectious and I found myself laughing along with everyone, but my mind was preoccupied on Jasper. I turned to look for him and found him in the far corner, watching me. His eyes held so much sadness and I felt drawn to him, the need to comfort him.

"Presents" Alice sang thrusting a box into my hands.

"It's from me." Emmett's boisterous laugh came.

I shook the box experimentally finding it weighed nothing. I arched a brow at him in question.

"Already installed it in your truck… Finally a decent sound system for that piece of…"

"HEY! Don't hate the truck." I laughed.

"This is from me." Edward mumbled handing me a gift.

I opened it carefully and it was a cd with the picture of our meadow on the disk.

"It's your lullaby and Esme's song, and a couple others." He told me.

I was touched. "Thank you." I grabbed him without thinking a pressed my warm soft lips to his stony ones.

I pulled back and before I could question him Carlisle stepped forward. "This is from us, something to brighten your day."

"Since you've been looking a bit pale lately." Esme chimed in with a laugh.

I put my finger under the paper and felt it slice into my finger, the pain was brief and the bright red blood made my head spin.

"Ow, paper cut."

The words left my things and everything started in slow motion. I looked up at Jasper's face, he looked horrified and was looking over my shoulder where Edward was standing. Jasper made a sudden lung towards me and Emmett, Carlisle, and Rosalie grappled with him. I looked into Edward's eyes and they were black with thirst. He put an arm out and I went sailing through the air into the glass table. The shards that shattered pierced my fair skin and Edward started to stalk towards me.

"Get Jasper out of here." Carlisle ordered, and was at my side in a flash. I hadn't even seen him move.

"Edward. Go speak with him."

Everything was happening in a blur as I tried to piece together what happened. I know what I saw, Edward was going to attack me, Jasper was going to intercede, and everyone believed Edward. But I know what I saw… Or did I?

"Are you alright Bella?" Carlisle asked as we sat in the kitchen, with him pulling the shards out of my arm.

"I guess. I sure can clear a room."

"It's not your fault."

"If Edward would change me, then we would never have this problem." I complained.

"Bella." Carlisle's voice was hard now and insistent, "Edward wouldn't want another person to suffer his soulless fate."

"Soulless? Like that you guys don't have souls."

In answer his eyes met mine, the conflict behind his eyes was hard to decipher.

"Carlisle. You couldn't be soulless. You… I mean look at what you do! If you didn't have souls you wouldn't care."

"Thank you Bella, You've always been very gracious of us."

His smile was warming and comforting, at least I made him feel better.

"What are you going to tell Charlie?"

"He knows I'm a klutz." I responded. In truth I had no idea what I could say to Charlie, I was more graceful than I would care to admit and it was hard to keep up appearances. Maybe he would take it as a sign that I was dutifully keeping his secret.

I felt like that's all I had been doing lately, everyone was trusting me with their secrets, and I had no one I could tell mine to. It was very frustrating.

When Carlisle was done bandaging my arm Edward was there ready to take me home. As he led me through the hallway I noticed Alice sitting there looking sullen and resigned.

"Alice. Tell Jasper it's not his fault." I told her.

She looked at me quizzically and nodded. I allowed myself to be led out by Edward and climbed into his Volvo.

"Where did you get that?" He asked gesturing to the necklace.

"Jasper."

"Take it off." His voice was harsh.

"Edward?"

The rest of the ride home was in silence. I got home and walked past Charlie who was in a drunken sleep in front of the tv. At least I wouldn't have to worry about him tonight. I got to my room and noticed my camera in my bag. I took it out and began to scroll through the photos. Me and Alice, Edward and I. Pictures of the family, before I had to ruin it.

I sighed frustrated and uploaded them onto the computer saving them in a secret folder for later use. Printing the one of Edward and I. We looked happy…

The next morning was just like any other day. The rain was coming down in buckets and I had to drive carefully to the school. But the feeling was back. Something was wrong, and it was going to happen soon.

Classes went by and lunch came and went, and it's when I finally noticed. Alice and Edward weren't there. It was a cloudy rainy day, and they weren't here.

The panic that worked it's way around my heart was in full force when school let out. I drove home too fast and it was only slightly drizzling. Edward stood half in my back yard. I climbed out of the truck the relief rolling off my body in waves. But as I took in his appearance and the clothes he had obviously not changed out of, and the stoic calm expression on his face caused all the fear and anxiety to creep back up.

"Take a walk with me."

His words weren't comforting nor were they in any way soothing. They were cold and empty. I followed him deep into the woods, wondering what could possibly be wrong. After what seemed like forever he stopped.

"Bella…We need to leave Forks."

Relief. "Ok I just need to think of something to say to Charlie." I would be free. I would be with my real family, and I would be free.

But then I noticed his cold hard expression, he'd made no other sound.

"When you say we?" I asked forcing the words to leave my already closed throat.

"I mean my family and myself."

Panic. Fear. Abandonment. "Why?"

"I'm done pretending Bella. I can't do this anymore."

I stared at him blankly, I couldn't comprehend what he was saying to me.

"I have to come with you." I told him stubbornly.

"I don't want you to come, Bella. I don't want you."

"You… don't want me?"

"NO." The anger and force behind his voice broke me.

"Edward…" I said softly. I was begging him with my eyes, it had to be all a joke. It must be, he just wants to get a reaction.

"I'm sorry I let this go on so long. When it was evident that we would never be able to be physical I decided to look for someone who could be what I needed…"

"Then change me!" I all but screamed.

"Bella… You're not good for me. You're just, even immortality couldn't help you."

"Not good enough." I repeated feeling the tears stinging my eyes. My heart felt like it was in a vice grip being squeezed painfully. My chest felt as if it was caving in. The pain rippled through me and a sob escaped my lips.

"Then kill me Edward! Kill me! I know you want to… KILL ME!" I screamed shoving him.

It was like pushing a brick building. He didn't budge as I pushed at him. I wanted to die, if I had to live here without any of the Cullen's with Charlie… I would rather be dead. I would rather die then to have to smile and pretend. I couldn't do that anymore.

"Alice…" I whimpered brokenly sinking to the floor.

Edward's hands lifted me back to a standing position, "Is already gone."

"Gone." I repeated the word not understanding.

I looked at him willing with all my might that this was a cruel sick joke.

"Please… Please… Don't…"

"We won't come back Bella. I'm sorry. Goodbye."

Then he was gone. I stupidly took of after him. I ran until I couldn't feel my legs anymore and I fell to the wet earth. It was stinky from the fresh rain and I sobbed pulling my legs to me in the fetal position. I was alone, I was all alone with him, he was going to kill me… How did this happen!

**A/N **

**Again I own nothing, but the own ideas the go through my mind! :D I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It's got a lot of angst and it'll help pull the story together. I'm overwhelmed with the response so far! Thank you for all the alerts and favorites, and reviews! You guys rock!**


	4. Chapter 3: Run to Me

**A/N**

**Real quick I promise! I'm blown away with the amount of love that's being showed for my story! Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU! Being a stay at home mom can get pretty lonely when you husband works midnights, and this is just what I needed. To immerse myself in the Twilight Fandom! So thank you all for the love and support! This ones for you!**

**Chapter 3 Run to Me**

I felt like I was drifting deeper and deeper into my subconscious. Arguing with myself…

He loves me

_Didn't you just hear him tell you it was a lie._

It's all a bad dream and I'll wake up!

_Silly girl, you always knew you weren't good enough for him. Even your own father believed you to be a lost cause…_

The inner monologue continued drowning out everything around me. I no longer felt the wet earth I was lying on, nor the persistent rain that was falling heavier every passing minute. I was lost inside myself, full of sorrow and self pity.

Then I felt it, the warmth, no, the heat. I opened my eyes and I could see the trees passing me, I felt the swaying of my body. I looked up to a russet face I wasn't familiar with.

"He's gone." I told the stranger my voice thick with emotion, "All gone…"

"It's alright Bella. I'm taking you home."

Home? Home?

"No!" I gasped out pitifully trying to get away from this man, but I wasn't strong enough.

I stopped fighting and really thought about it, what did it matter if I was killed? No, one would be there to miss me. No one but… No one else said goodbye… Was I really just a pet of theirs?

Suddenly the sky opened up and I realized we had broken through the tree line.

"BELLS!" Charlie's voice sounded frantic, worried.

I felt my weight being transferred, Charlie's arms were less warm than the strangers.

"Thank you Sam." Charlie told him earnestly.

I was led into the house and placed on the sofa. The thought of the sofa getting wet put me into a panic.

"I'm ok…I'm getting the furniture all wet."

"It doesn't matter right now Bella." Charlie said calmly.

I gave up and sank back into the comfortable pillows. I stopped responding, it was safer inside my own mind. I couldn't feel anything. I was completely numb, there was nothing left. But I could still hear everything.

"Where is Dr. Cullen?" Charlie's voice asked.

"He got a job offer in California, one he couldn't pass up. They had to leave immediately." I recognized the voice of Dr. Gerandy responding.

"Well Forks is sure going to miss him…" Charlie muttered almost bitterly.

"But back to Bella. She seems to be in shock, he and what's his name were close, were they not?"

"Edward? Yeah, practically attached at the hip." My fathers voice oozed with annoyance.

"Well it'll take her some time…"

But I stopped listening. I didn't want to hear anymore. It felt like a giant hole was punched through the center of my chest, I couldn't breath, I couldn't find anything to grasp onto. It didn't feel real anymore. What was reality?

"Bells."

The voice was husky and soft, Jacob.

"Oh Bells… I'm going to be here when you wake up."

I felt his warm lips press to my temple and wanted to cry out in agony. Jacob, my best friend, I'd been neglecting him. Once Edward came into the picture I forgot about everything else. I warred with in myself to care. To try to come back and tell my friend I would be okay. But I couldn't. Nothing would ever be okay again… His lips were not the ones I craved. They were much to warm…

Edward…

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months.

All of sudden it was December, winter break. The time had passed quickly. But I wasn't Bella anymore. I was a shell. I was walking blindly through my daily chores, mechanically doing mundane things, like school work. Then there were the nights… The nights I slept, dreaming about him. Waking up with a scream, the pain rippling though my body. The nights I was awake… Charlie on top of me…

I didn't feel him anymore, in truth I felt nothing. I was hollow and empty inside. When he would strike me, I took it. I was nothing but the dutiful, silent daughter. I had been dealt a fate worse than death. I would pray to god for the strength, to end it all… To run away… For some miracle to save me.

**I often wonder why I've carried all this guilt**

**When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built**

**Shadows stir at night though a crack in the door **

**The echo of a broken child screaming please no more**

**Daddy don't you understand the damage you have done?**

**For you it's just a memory but for me it still lives on…**

"Can't you do anything right?" Charlie's angry scream came from the kitchen.

I walked in silently surveying the damage, the clean plates were now broken in jagged pieces on the floor. Charlie was standing there a can of beer on the counter, his hair disheveled, eyes wide and bloodshot. I mentally braced myself and timidly approached him.

"I'm sorry, I'll clean it up." I told him.

"Damn right you will." He screamed.

He reached out gripping my upper arm tightly enough for me to cry out in pain.

"You've been nothing but trouble here. Why did you even come back?" He questioned brutally.

The spit and stench of booze spraying my face.

"I wanted to come home." I told him quietly.

Before I could tell what was happening he launched me against the cold wooden stairs. I screamed out, but was unable to brace myself for the sharp pain.

"You're worthless Bella. I wish they wouldn't have found you out in the woods. You should have died out there."

The last thing I remember was his foot slamming into my abdomen…

My head felt heavy and everything hurt. I sat up gingerly wincing at the pain. Pain? I was feeling pain? I coughed harshly blood sprayed between my lips. The coppery taste and the smell made my head feel even heavier. I managed to crawl towards the phone. I didn't hear Charlie in the house, but I couldn't stay here anymore. I needed help. I managed to reach the phone and dial Jacob's number.

"Hello?"

"Billy… I… Jake…" I rasped.

"Hang on…"

"Bella?"

"Jake." I tried to smile through my pain.

"Are you okay?"

"Help me."

The slow steady beeping roused me from sleep. I wracked my brain trying to remember how I got myself into bed. I started to sit up but the wires would only let me sit so far. I opened my eyes, the bright white walls and lights hurt my eyes.

"Bella!" Jacob's relieved voice sounded on my right.

I turned my head slowly to see his large form curled into a hospital chair.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"I don't know Bella. You called me, and then… I came over and I found… Bells… I… We thought you were dead. Your head was bleeding… You had some… I…" He floundered trying to find the right words to tell me.

"I don't remember." I lied, the image of Charlie and his swift kick to my gut.

"Charlie's at work. He vows they'll find the guy that did this."

I winced at Jacob, I highly doubted they would find the right guy, since the Chief of Police wouldn't even be considered a suspect, even if I spoke.

"I hope so." I told him, and I did. I hoped someone would finally notice, put two and two together…

"Ah, you're awake." A pretty blond woman smiled at me.

I took in her appearance, medium height, long blond hair, bright blue eyes, wearing a white lab coat.

"I'm Doctor Kish, you can call me Beth."

"Uhm. Hi. Beth." I mumbled awkwardly.

She looked at Jacob giving him a pointed look and he stood, his warm hand still in mine, how didn't I notice that before?

"I'll be right back Bella."

He leaned down his lips brushing against my temple.

Once the door closed Beth walked closer, her expression changed, it was hard and scrutinizing. I flinched away afraid she might slap me.

"What happened to you?"

"I don't remember." I lied.

"Who did this to you?"

"I don't remember." I told her pleading with my eyes.

She huffed indignantly and plopped into the chair Jake had just been in.

"Look honey, you had severe internal damage… we had to give you a full hysterectomy. There were signs of a sexual assault, and scar tissue… Look at me honey, this looks like it's been going on for a long time. What ever you say to me, by law I can not say to anyone else. But honey I need to know the facts."

Her eyes shone with unshed tears. She was genuinely worried.

"It won't fix anything." I told her my voice stuck in my throat as I let the tears flow freely, "He'll never stop."

I broke into sobbing hysterics, Beth put her arms around me comforting me. "Tell me honey."

The words came out in a rush, the dam was cracked, and crumbling fast. "Charlie… My dad… Charlie Swan… He… I was so young… And my mom… we got away, but she… she didn't want me anymore. She got remarried… And and I came back… it was okay for a while… But he resents me for my mom leaving… And… and… I can't stop him… I can't…"

Her face paled as she took in the gravity of what I was saying. The troubled teenage daughter vs. the long time chief of police…

"He'll never stop… Until he kills me."

"Oh honey, I won't let that happen. That boy who was here… Maybe you could go stay with him?"

"I can't… My dad is over there half the time anyways. I just… I can't… I'll get out… I don't know how but I will." I sobbed. "Please don't tell anyone…"

Beth was overcome with emotions and decided to exit, I was still crying when Jake and Charlie came through the doors.

"Bells…" Charlie started towards me.

But I couldn't pretend I was okay, I let out a soft whimper and cowered away from him. His eyes flashed with anger and I winced bracing myself for the first blow. But it never came…

"I'll be back later." Charlie grumbled leaving the room.

Jacob stood there watching me warily, his eyes clouded over in pain and worry. He had always been so perceptive of me. His eyes caught mine as they searched the depth of my soul. The pain and misery plain as day to read.

"What has he done to you?"

The words made me flinch and I began to sob again. The reality hit me hard. The hospital… the doctor knew, Jacob knew… I didn't want to die.

"I don't want to die!" I croaked my voice thick as tears streamed endlessly down my cheeks. "I don't want to die." I repeated.

Jake's stance softened and he walked over to me. He pulled me into his warm arms and I cried harder. I could see Jake had more than friendly feelings towards me. I was broken. Edward broke me. Charlie ruined me… I couldn't love again, and now I couldn't have a child of my own. The loss hurt more than I had ever anticipated. In Jake's warm arms I could see us standing there two dark haired beauties running around a modest yard. I strangled sob slipped though. I was truly broken…

**Don't you don't have to save my life**

**No, you're not ready I can feel it**

**Outside it's raining, but I'll just go home**

**Someday your heart will just let him go**

**As soon as you get that feeling**

**You can start to live again**

**As soon as the worst is over**

**You can make it all make sense **

**Right now I can't give you what you need**

**As soon as you get that feeling… run to me**

I sat in the small rocking chair of my new room, it was comfortable and inexpensive. Two months I'd been free. Jacob vowed to make sure Charlie never touched me again. Thus far he'd made good on his promise. He took care of me. He sat me down and explained that he was a werewolf. The talk went a lot smoother than either of us could have imagined. It explained why he had been distant. But a call to Sam, letting him know the situation as it were. The pack built us a small two bedroom cabin.

I stood up stretching placing my beaten worn copy of Wuthering Heights on the bay windows ledge.

"Jake…" I called softly walking towards the living room.

He grinned at me, "Hey there sleepyhead."

His ever warm embrace made part of my heart ache. "Hey."

"We're going to Sam and Emily's today. We're planning a weekend trip to Forks."

I felt my stomach drop, "Just to see a movie and hang out."

I nodded to him grudgingly. We took off for Sam and Em's.

The chatter was soundless in my head. I smiled and nodded, but I wasn't fixed yet. I knew I had to do something soon, to help heal myself. When Jacob smiled at me though, feelings stirred inside my heart, that I had believed had long since died. I was hesitant to give Jacob a chance, although he'd proven time and time again he was reliable, that he wasn't Edward. But the imprinting… It worried me. I didn't think I could survive if he left me too. If I gave part of myself to him and he stomped on it.

I couldn't deny the feelings though. Jacob was my personal sun, the rays of vitamin D that soaked into my skin and warmed me inside. The one to put all the pieces of my heart together. The one who was constantly there for me. Always waiting, but never pushing. He was the one who cared for me when neither of my parents seemed to care.

The thought of Renee shot pain though-out my system. She heard about the hospital, but never once called. She had been busy with Phil. They were expecting a bouncing baby boy. She was 8 months along, and never once considered telling me.

I bit my lip to keep my mind off of her, so I wouldn't spent anymore time crying over her.

I'd also learned that what Edward and I had wasn't a true love. It was obsession and unhealthy. If he told me to jump, I jumped.

With Jacob… Things felt normal. As easy as breathing, it was then I saw the truth. I had to tell him…

"Can we go home Jake?" I asked suddenly.

I was feeling bold. I needed to put all my cards on the table. He could either take it or leave it.

He looked at me his eyes searching mine before nodding.

"Patrols in an hour Jake." Sam told him somewhat sternly.

The drive to our small cabin didn't take long and it took even less time for Jake and I to find ourselves in the house.

I walked to my room and sat on the bed.

"What's up Bells?" He asked.

"Come sit here… I… want to talk to you." I told him hesitantly.

The hope in his eyes made my chest ache, but I could do this. I could do this for him, for me. He sat down softly, pushing the hair out of my face.

"I need to say some things… I need you to listen… And not interrupt… ok?"

"Sure, Sure." He agreed giving me his trademark wolfy grin.

I took a deep breath and looked down.

"Jake… I know how… I know that you love me…" I paused looking into his eyes, that were now slightly guarded. "What I had… with… Ed… Edward, wasn't love. It was more of an addiction. He was a drug, and I couldn't get enough. I see that now. Charlie really screwed me up Jake… He was supposed to protect me… Take care of me… I can't have any kids Jake… I didn't tell you that part… They… There was… too… much damage… I could never give you a family… It's not fair for you… It's not fair for you to love me, not knowing all the facts. I'm still broken. These past few months have helped. They've opened my eyes and thank you Jacob…"

I took a deep breath and looked deeply into his brown eyes, "I love you Jake…And it scares me… I'm scared to love you… But I do… And I just need you to know…"

But I never got to finish, his mouth attacked mine hungrily. I lost myself in his warm embrace. His lips moved easily against mine, and I couldn't recall ever being kissed this way before.

"I love you Bella. I love you so much." He chanted, his lips on my jaw.

A howl from the woods forced us to break apart. His eyes were lit with happiness and so much love. I smiled at him weakly.

"I'll be back." He grinned kissing me again.

I watched him stride into the woods his head held high. I bit my bottom lip and sighed. I wasn't feeling any regret. I did love Jacob. I wasn't sure if it was enough, but I knew it was true.

I wandered into the kitchen and pulled out two large roasting pans. One held 3 large rump roasts that had been marinating in my own special concoction. The others held potato chunks, carrots, celery, onion, and mushrooms. I put them both in the double oven. I would cook for the pack tonight.

I grabbed the phone and dialed Emily's.

"Bella." I could almost see her smile.

"Hey I just put food in the oven. You could come over here and help me out. I'll do all the hard stuff today." I told her.

"Really?" She asked sounding surprised.

"Yeah…"

"Occasion?" She chuckled.

"I told him…"

"I'll be right there…"

Emily arrived 10 minutes later and began chopping the fresh vegetables for the large salad. We had quite the spread worked out by the time the boys started arriving.

Embry and Quil walked in first, neither looked at me. The boys all filed in and began eating in silence. Sam strode through the door giving me a sympathetic smile and walking to Emily. I watched them closely. Whatever he was telling her made her look so sad.

I looked around noticing Jake wasn't inside. I walked outside and he was pacing back and forth and appeared to be talking to himself.

"Jake?" I called out to him.

He stopped mid stride, his expression stopped me cold. He looked tortured.

"What's wrong?" I asked him moving towards him.

He held his hands up as if to stop my advances. But it didn't work. I hugged him around the middle. I breathed in his comforting earthy scent and kissed his bare chest.

"Don't." He told me, his body rigid with tension.

I looked up at him confused, "Jake?" I asked my voice breaking. The dread swept through my body left me in shambles. The same look Edward had… But Jake loves me, he loves me?

"Bella…" he sighed looking around his voice was thick with regret, "I imprinted."

I looked at him dumbfounded, I was letting the words sink in… Imprint…

"Lauren Mallory… She… was in the woods… and… I… I have to be with her."

It felt as though someone ripped open all of my scars pouring salt in for good measure.

Lauren Mallory? Really?

"Jake?" I whimpered.

"You need to move out Bells… I can't be seen with you. Lauren doesn't… I have to do what's best for her."

The tears came fast and hard and I pushed past him and opened the door to my truck, "You've killed me Jacob Black… My death is on YOUR hands"

I climbed into the truck the sobs forcing the hole in my chest to open up. It was wide open, there was nothing left. Then I sped off, I didn't know where I was going, but I was going far away. I ended up at the Airport in Port Angeles. I scoured the board and smiled sadistically. There was a flight leaving in 10 minutes… Italy.

I bought my ticket, liquidating the account I had.

Once the plane took off I pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote furiously. I willed with everything I had for Alice to see.

_Humans aren't supposed to know about Vampires… You told me that once. And HE told me about them. I'm going to them Alice. You knew about Charlie and you still left. I can't do it anymore. I'm going to the Volturi… At least I have the courage to tell you all goodbye. Goodbye Esme, my loving mother, you were so much more a mother than Renee… You leaving was a thousand knives to my heart. Goodbye Carlisle the father I never had. Never abusive, always a shoulder to lean on… You were the salt that was poured into my open wounds. Goodbye Rosalie, your hatred of me pushed me to try harder, so thank you. You'll be rid of me once and for all now. Emmett… Emmy Bear… What happened to protecting you little sis huh? I'll never forgive you. Edward… You are not good enough for me. You never let me have a say in anything. You introduced me to this wonderful world where I finally felt whole. Felt like I belonged. Screw you. I hate you! Alice… How could you? You knew things that no, one else did… He almost killed me. Are you proud of that Alice? Are you? Jasper… I know the truth about my birthday. I could see it. Thank you for trying to save me… I… I'm sorry about Alice… I hope you find happiness one day. You're stronger than you think… Thank you, and goodbye_

_Bella_

**A/N**

**I tried to post this last night but there was a problem on the site! Again I don't own Twilight, songs used, "I'm Ok" Christina Aguilera and "Run To Me" Clay Aiken.**

**Next Chapter will be Jasper's POV and then things will really begin to progress. :D Thanks again for all the support! You guys are the best!**


	5. Chapter 4: Parting is such Sweet Sorrow

**A/N**

**This will be much anticipated. Jasper's POV and revelations… :D woop! Thanks again. You guys made my whole week! Love yah all!**

**Chapter 4: Parting is such sweet sorrow**

**JPOV**

I sat in the backseat of Emmett's jeep as we pulled away from Forks. I didn't understand why we were leaving, or why everyone was going along with this. I thought it wasn't right to leave without saying goodbye to Bella… But no one else shared the same opinion.

"You heard Edward." Emmett said from the front seat.

"I know a clean break." I grimaced at the very thought.

How could we just leave her? She knows all of our secrets and she was genuinely happy and relieved almost all the times she was over…

I frowned watching the greenery pass by as we left. No, one believed me when I said I was lunging for Edward. That he was the one who was losing control, that his bloodlust had spiked to beyond all physical control. No, I was the newest to the diet, it was too much for me… Even Alice…

I laughed bitterly. Alice. The little sprite I thought would be my entire world told me we were never meant for each other. She was meant to bring me into this life, but not as my mate. The words stung. I felt unwavering love for her, but she didn't reciprocate those feelings any longer. Not when her "true mate" seemed so near on the horizon.

I was trapped this was my home, my family. But it would be hard to see Alice and whoever this other person was…

"I'm glad we're free of Bella." Rose spoke from beside Emmett.

"Rosie…" Emmett scolded.

"No, Em… She followed him like a sick puppy. He was testing himself and it would have never ended well. Did he even really love her?"

Her words were aimed at me, the more I thought about it I felt the love and adoration in waves from Bella… but nothing stronger than friendship from Edward…

"No.." I answered her in awe.

"She'll have the life I never got… She'll have babies, grow old… She's better off without us."

It was a soft side of Rose I'd rarely seen. It explained her hostility, jealousy, and anger with the human girl.

But why did this hurt so bad. Leaving here was killing me inside and I couldn't understand my own feelings. I was a damn empath and I had no, idea what was going on around me.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"The house in Maine." Emmett responded. "not many grizzlies, but plenty of black bears."

I chuckled at my brother, he was always up for something…

We moved into the modest home, modest for us, and quickly worked out a routine. Edward didn't stay with us for long, he said he had other things to do. The dominant emotion from him was guilty, but I assumed it was because of the way we left Bella. It's what we all thought…

Three weeks later I couldn't take it. I went to check on her. She was comatose. She sat in her rocker facing the window the entire day. Her eyes were lifeless. I contemplated staying when a horrible stench engulfed me. I turned to see two brown wolves flanking a man with russet skin.

"Who the hell are you? Are you a Cullen?"

I was taken aback by this and nodded, "Jasper Whitlock Hale Cullen." I confirmed.

"Are you staying?"

"I just came to check on Bella."

"After what your brother did to her? Leave her alone. And don't come back."

The anger coming from the man was immense and I hadn't felt so much hate and anger since the early newborn wars.

I retreated back home and never mentioned a word to the family. Every once in a while Alice would look at me sympathetically. She knew something but she would never say it. Whenever she did say something to me it was always very cryptic.

"You won't be alone forever."

"Love never dies."

"One day you'll see."

Her garble did nothing short of irritate me on a daily basis. It got to the point of me trying to ignore her whenever she was in close proximity. I stayed locked in my room to avoid the atmosphere… Everyone was mourning in their own way, for their daughter, sister, son, and brother…

Things hadn't changed much a year later. I was contemplating a return to Forks. To visit Bella… But I would have to be careful… I walked over to the living room television set and turned the tv on. UHG! CNN, Carlisle must have been watching last. But the headline made my dead heart drop.

"Everyone!" I called my voice was frantic.

Suddenly everyone was present except Edward. There was no, need to turn up the volume. We all heard as if he was screaming at us.

"A gruesome scene here in this small town of Forks, Washington that has been brought to it's knees. Charlie Swan, chief of Police for nears 12 years and his daughter Isabella Swan were murdered in their homes. X-Rays and pins confirm the bodies. The evidence concludes the bodies were stabbed numerous times, and accelerant was poured over the bodies and the small home and set on fire. It's likely the Chief and his daughter were alive when the fire started. Memorial information will be available soon. How could something so brutal happen in such a small and friendly town? Neighbors mourn the loss of two beloved souls taken too soon. Rex Hardy reporting to you live from Forks…"

I turned to Alice, I was horrified.

"It… I… never saw this!" She croaked.

Her eyes were glassy, "Oh Jasper… I'm so sorry."

The amount of her despair sent me to my knees. The family around me began sobbing.

"She… she was supposed to be yours…"

The words hung in the air ominously… Bella? Mine?

The feelings I'd felt around her, Alice purposely distancing me from her…

"Alice?" I asked her my expression crazed.

"I couldn't lose you yet Jazz… And then Edward… it was perfect, but then you always ended up with her. She… you were both so happy… I don't.. I can't…"

"We have to go back." Carlisle stated firmly.

The bickering stopped long enough for me to look at my father. The pain I was feeling from the room on top of my own was crippling.

"We have to show our support, to the town."

"Werewolves." I croaked.

Five pairs of eyes turned towards me, "What?"

"I went back… Three weeks after we left… She was catatonic Carlisle. She looked dead. Her eyes were dead. She didn't have a spark left. I couldn't feel her. She was… numb… The werewolves told me we weren't welcome…"

"I think we need to go back…"

Going back to Forks was hard for us all. I could almost still smell the freesia when we entered the house.

I followed the sweet fragrance to the kitchen table. There was a thick envelope marked for Alice.

She walked over to it numbly and lifted it gently. She opened it and began to read out loud.

_Dear Alice,_

_I know you'll get this someday, but it'll be too late for me. I tried to will you to have a vision of me, but it was useless. I went to Italy Alice. I met Aro, Caius, and Marcus. They refused me. They refused to kill me because I would have great talent as an immortal. Lovely. I left human. You know what it's like for me at home. I can only put up with so much. But I found a way… To go out with a bang…_

_I'll never forgive you for leaving me Alice. You never once said goodbye to me. Yet here I am writing a farewell to you. I once believed you had a soul, you proved me wrong._

_Rosalie,_

_I bet you're happy to be rid of me. You never got why… I do… I was addicted to Edward. He showed me something so beautiful and wonderful. It saved me from home. From the painful memories. I felt for once I finally fit in. I wish you the best, for always being honest. Goodbye._

_Emmett,_

_You were the big brother I never had. You swore to love and protect me forever! What now Emmy Bear. I'm dead and buried if you're reading this. You could have called… or could have sent and email… SOMETHING! I'll never forgive you either._

_Carlisle,_

_You never saw the signs, but I couldn't ever tell you. Every time he slapped me I hoped and prayed Edward would stop it. He would change me and I would have the family I was always supposed to have. _

_Esme,_

_I loved you so much! My own mother never wanted me… Did you know that? She has a newborn son now… Though I've never met him. Renee doesn't want me either… Funny how the world is one cruel sick joke._

_Edward,_

_You bastard! Look what you've done to me! You've ruined me… You said I wasn't good enough for you, that even immortality couldn't help me… well I have something to say to that…. You aren't good for me Edward Cullen. I'm glad you're off finding someone you can actually be intimate with. Good for you! But just know that your ruined me forever._

_Jasper…_

_I know the truth… I know you tried to stop Edward. You showed such control and I'm so very proud of you. I saw you that day… Outside my window… I wish I had been strong enough to ask you to stay… but you have to understand why I couldn't…I'm sorry about Alice, Jasper. They've fooled us all. Thank you… You're stronger than anyone thinks… You're going to be alright Jazz, stay strong._

_Goodbye_

_Bella_

Sobs broke out around the house. The pain of her words sinking in. She had seen what none of my family had… My strength… I crumpled to the floor. Before I had even begun to have any semblance of a chance she was snatched away from me… The world was so cruel….

**BPOV**

"Izz a bella." Aro's voice spoke with confidence, "welcome home."

"Thank you Master." I bowed slightly.

"It made the national news my dear." He smiled.

I forced a small smile, "well my death has been covered up, the Cullen's will have the closure they never had."

"Yes, and they will live eternity with your parting words heavy on their minds."

I chuckled darkly, "I suppose you're right."

"Was it hard to find someone who resembled you?" Aro asked intrigued.

"Not as hard as I thought. But to be safe I removed all of the poor girls teeth…"

_I stalked her from the shadows, my height, same shade of untamable hair. She would do. I rendered her unconscious and made my way to Charlie's. It was dark, but I was careful. I used the key I still had and came in through the back. I tied the girl to one of the kitchen chairs and waited in the dark room. From the sound of the television the Mariners were playing…_

_It didn't take long for the young woman I'd captured to wake up. She looked around and shrieked. I smiled as I hid in the dark. There was a scuffle in the living room and I heard Charlie grabbing his badge and gun. He flipped on the light switch and I was behind him and hidden._

_Upon spotting the terrified young girl he spoke, "I'm the Chief of Police, how did you get here."_

"_I don't know… A woman… it was a woman." The helpless girl babbled._

"_Hello Daddy…" I called from behind him, my new voice tinkling like bells._

_He turned with exaggerated slowness and his jaw dropped at my appearance. "Marvelous what a few weeks will do." I chuckled._

"_Bella?" He asked, "What the hell are you doing."_

_His hand twitched for his gun but with my new speed I was able to have it in my hands before he knew what was going one._

"_Looking for this?" I asked innocently._

_His face became bright red with rage and my throat flared slightly. He made a move towards me and I crumpled the metal into dust. _

_I forced him to watch as I took tooth after tooth from the poor girl. She was unconscious now. The screaming and pain caused her to go out, making my job easier._

"_Everyone will think we're both gone. The perfect alibi daddy dearest."_

_I stabbed my father repeatedly relishing in his cries of pain. "Is this how you felt when you did things to me daddy?" I asked him._

_I wrapped my hand around his most offensive appendage and squeezed gently._

_He groaned and I was sickened at his body's response._

"_You'll never hurt me again." I told him. I squeezed hard and yanked it from his body. _

_His screams died out and I used gasoline to cover the bodies. I flipped open and lighter and dropped it as I left…_

"You were very thorough Izz a bella."

I cringed at the way my name rolled off his lips. His red eyes watched my face carefully.

"Are you going to feed with us yet?"

"No, Aro. I prefer animal blood…"

"Ahh… Major Whitlock has inspired you to behave." He chuckled.

I frowned at him, but I knew better than to talk back. I wanted to keep my body parts. They were all vital to keep me going.

Coming to Italy had been a mistake. Being changed against my will, because I would be of use to the Volturi. Sentenced to an eternity of sadness.

My powers that blocked both physical and mental attacks, being able to hide myself from visions. I was one of a kind. My scent wasn't very strong, not like other vampires. I kept much of my human traits that way. It helped traveling back in Washington, the wolves couldn't smell me.

They all believed I was dead. It was good though. I recall the letter I sent to Jacob. I watched his russet face pale more and more with each word he read. I made it clear that I was killing Charlie and myself…

_Jacob,_

_You made so many promises… You're just like that bloodsucker Edward. You were never the right choice for me… I allowed myself to believe you actually loved me. Enough to trump the imprinting gene… but I couldn't give you children… I couldn't give you a son to carry the wolf gene… Perhaps you didn't imprint. You pretended to because I was never going to run right… I'm going to kill Charlie, Jake. Then turn the knife on myself. It's all your fault you know. _

_Goodbye Jake_

_Bells_

At the time I lapped up his pain like a kitten with a bowl of cream, but now. I felt hollow. Everyone I knew and loved believed I was dead. According to the police report Renee claimed to have never heard of a Bella Swan… But I couldn't hurt her… Not with such a young child. But I would have many years to drive her completely and utterly crazy.

"Why don't you go talk to Felix and Demetri, I might be sending you to send a warning to the Denali Coven." Aro spoke.

I nodded and walked slowly down the hall. Felix pulled me into a one armed hug, "How goes the mayhem?"

"A little blood, Lots of Pain." I chuckled, I looked from him to Demetri who had flitted to my other side. "Denali huh?"

"Apparently they didn't learn the last time. Kate and Irina like to have relations with men, but they're becoming careless…"

I nodded thoughtfully. It would be easy enough to warn them. I was personally looking to tear something apart. I was filled with so much anger and rage. The boys and I decended into the thrown room where Aro was waiting with Marcus and Caius.

"Well?" I asked them.

"No need any longer. We have a more pressing matter." Aro mused.

I'd only seen him with that expression once before. When I a mere human came to them begging for death.

"It appears two of the Cullen clan have come to us to end their existence."

"Who?" I asked.

I tried hard not to seem to eager, or interested.

"Edward Cullen, and Major Jasper Whitlock… Apparently your death is too much to handle."

I sighed heavily. I would have to end this. I marched towards the chambers where I could hear the screaming.

"You left her Edward! What makes you think that death now would help you?" Jasper's southern twang yelled.

"Because I left to protect her!" Edward screamed.

"Protect her? I never wanted to leave Edward! No one would let me say goodbye! Besides you've been in Denali fuckin Tanya for a year!" Jasper spat with venom.

"As a way to forget her. Because I could never truly have that with her!"

"She wasn't yours!" Jasper shouted.

"What?"

"Alice… saw me… HAPPY… with Bella… You and her ruined EVERYTHING!" Jasper's voice broke with the force of his emotions.

I'd had enough, I wasn't going to let them argue over me anymore.

"Hello Boys." I greeted walking into the room my burgundy cape billowing behind me.

**A/N**

**WOW 2 chaps in one day! Not too shabby! It's going to be hot the next day or two and the hubby and I are taking the kids to the cabin… No internet access! But I'll update as soon as I can. Thanks again!**


	6. Chapter 5: The Big Reveal

**A/N**

**OMG you guys had me in tears! Lots of Love! So I'm home now and decided to get right to work…. Enjoy, hope it lives up to the hype.**

**So Kokoziko is on to something… But I can't give too much away**

**Chapter 5: The Big Reveal**

"Hello Boys." I greeted coolly walking into the room my long burgundy cape billowing behind me. My voice was sharp and rang like soft bells. Both men stopped, arms raised as if they were about to tear one another apart. I shook my head sadly as I approached them. I concentrated hard and watched as they turned towards me completely blind.

"Who are you?" Edward snarled looking in all directions.

"Oh Eddie… Deaf."

He sunk to the ground and sat there numbly. I loved my powers. The fear radiating from the two of them made me feel powerful. I walked closer examining the features of Edward's face. His expression was pained and resigned, he thought I was there to kill him. His face no longer held meaning for me, he'd hurt me so much, there was no forgiveness. I turned and gasped when I really looked at Jasper. He stood rigidly posed to go out fighting, even blindly. But that's not what drew me closer. The scars that marred his handsome face crisscrossed overlapping one another all the way down his V-neck sweater. His arms and even parts of his ankles.

"What happened to you?" I asked him in awe.

I wasn't afraid, nor did I pity him. They were the signs of having fought many many times, not once on the losing end. I was impressed and at the same time mourned for all the pain he must have endured throughout the course of his existence.

"You should know." He hissed.

I stepped forward boldly letting my hands traces the contours of his pained face, "You're here to die?" I asked him.

His head dropped in defeat, the pain that radiated from his body almost took my breath away.

"Yes." His voice became resigned and his shoulders relaxed.

"Why?"

"My brother… My ex wife… They knew who I was supposed to end up with… The intervened with destiny, now she's gone. I'll be forever cursed to walk this earth alone, with the knowledge I could have saved her…" His voice broke thick with emotion. His eyes were glazed with venom with tears he could never cry. His anguish was what I felt, had felt for a long time.

"But was she not a silly human girl? A human girl you left with knowledge of this existence?"

My anger getting the best of me, I needed answers. If he was in love with me, if he knew there was a connection why did he leave with the others? Why would he be here now, why wouldn't he have come through my window and whisked me away instead of letting me fall into the arms of a volatile werewolf?

"I didn't want to leave. They forced me. They told me she was scared of me, that she was worried I would kill her…"

Anger flared through my system, my newborn rage still in full force. I growled low and deadly, "They had no, right to do that to us…"

As soon as the words escaped my lips I wanted to take them back. Jasper's stance straightened his eyes were wide with unseeing shock. He reached out blindly, but I stepped out of his reach, it was a dumb move…

"Bella?" His voice so filled with hope.

I sighed and returned his senses to him. He stood still adjusting to the light. Then he turned and stared at me with love and adoration, but I was far from running into his arms.

"Hello Jasper."

He looked from me to his brother who was on the floor deaf, dumb, and blind. "Is he?"

"He'll be fine when I release my hold on him." I retorted curtly.

He nodded for a moment, his eyes drinking me in, looking at my immaculate immortal body. But the way his eyes penetrated my own, it was like he was seeing right through my soul. A soul I knew I didn't have.

"Bella I…"

But I placed my hand up to stop him. "First I will question your brother. You will remain silent. I need to hear what he has to say. Once I've made my decision then perhaps you and I could talk."

He nodded and I turned to Edward letting him hear again.

"Edward. You come here seeking death…" I stated in a dull emotionless voice.

"Yes." He spoke clearly.

"Explain."

"I have nothing to say…"

But he did, I used his power against him and began picking through his brain…

_I don't know who this girl thinks she is. I know they'll refuse me. But it'll seem as though I'm remorseful over Bella's demise._

I held in the growl the was begging to slip through. I decided to dig deeper. Unlike Aro I didn't need to touch someone to know their every thought.

_I think the stupid human is in love with me. I can see her with Jasper, and it's unbelievable. How could he have the control to have sex with a human? Alice has been naughty indeed. They were supposed to gravitate towards each other. She was supposed to let Jasper go. Together we worked together. When I was too pent up Tanya was there to satisfy me. How they think I despise my mate…_

I pulled back. I'd heard enough.

"So Edward Cullen… You think that by coming here we will not destroy you because you're remorseful over a humans death. A human whom you told the truth. You broke the cardinal rule. You should be put to death for that. But thinking that your gift will make you exempt, well you've got another thing coming… Why would we need you, when they have me? Oh… now you're afraid… I can't feel it, I can taste the fear in the room. You never cared for the human did you Edward? If Tanya is indeed your mate. You and Alice devised a plan to keep Jasper from fulfilling his destiny. A most beloved brother, you wanted him to stay the weak one, so that your father would commend you. So that you would be free to make the decisions. You and Alice manipulated everyone for your own personal gain. Well I have news for you Edward Cullen. I can read every thought you've ever had… That's right. I can… Now tell me… Should you have been so cruel to a human, who now had your fate in her hands…"

I lifted the veil from his eyes returning his senses. His fear was thick and permeated the room. He turned with his eyes as wide as saucers. His eyes raking over my voluptuous curves. His mouth opening and closing like a fish. But still he said nothing. I could hear Jasper's ragged breathing, he was attempting to control himself. I sent out a wave of calm and looked back at Edward. Venom dripping from my every word.

"SO Edward, we meet again. Hello. I'm Bella Swan Volturi. Pleased to meet you. So should we kill you?"

_I don't want to die…_

"Then why come if you did not want death…"

_I wanted him to die._

His thoughts were loud as he jerked his head in Jasper's direction.

"Oh, you thought it would kill Jasper… Touching… FELIX, take this scum to the cellar. Chain him and make sure he doesn't drink any blood. We'll see if he could be of use to us yet."

"Yes, Ma'am" Felix replied coming in and grapping Edward.

I was surprised that Edward would go so willingly with Felix. I would have to talk to him some more when Jasper wasn't around.

"Bella…"

I turned casually to see Jasper standing there staring at me in awe.

"Jasper… I'm sorry, but you will have to leave."

I began to walk past him but he gripped my arm. I turned my gaze to him.

"I don't want to hurt you." I told him softly.

He let go, still looking at me in astonishment.

"You are to go back to the Cullen's. I wish to have a meeting with them all. I will give you a chance to speak. Only once I've had my closure."

I turned and walked from him, my heart breaking painfully in my chest. I felt the intense urge to run to him, but I couldn't. I wouldn't be strong enough to go through another heart ache, I'd learned my lesson the hard way. I wasn't about to make the same mistakes over again. I marched through the hallways to Aro's study and let myself in.

"You wanted to see me Master?"

"Ah, Isabella. Please come and sit." He smiled.

I sat down unceremoniously and stared at my creator.

"Yes?"

"You've been holding out on me my dear… with your extraordinary powers…"

I sighed and decided now would be better than later, "It appears Aro, That I'm a bit like a sponge. I absorb others powers and they stick."

"Remarkable. Which powers do you have at present."

"Mind reading present and every memory without a touch, Empath, Physical Pain, Blinding the senses, Making someone deaf, tracking, shielding mind and body… And some I have yet to tap in to." I told him.

He was smiling at me, "I believe Mr. Whitlock has left, shall we check on Mr. Cullen's current accommodations?"

I didn't always like Aro, but I liked the way he thought. We both stood and walked toward the door that would take us to the cellar. We descended the winding staircase and walked through the long narrow winding cooridors. It was like being in a maze. If a human ever came down here they would never find their way back out…

I walked through the rotting wooden door where Edward was chained to the wall. It gave me a sick twisted pleasure to see him at my disposal. I would break him… He looked up as if he could sense me. His eyes were dead and defeated.

"I believe you owe my newest guard member some explanations." Aro spoke curtly.

Edward looked up our gaze locking and he began.

"Alice always knew her and Jasper were never meant to be. She would have visions of him with a dark haired beauty, she was powerful, and very angry. When we moved to Forks, and I saw you… I knew who you were Bella. I had seen you in so many visions… But you weren't anything like the visions. You were shy and you were meek. You weren't the controlling vampire. Then your blood sang to me. Jasper wanted to kill you, Alice was in favor with him until I told them I wanted you… Alice saw then visions of us. We were happy, we grew side by side, as you got older I took care of you. When you passed on things went back to normal and Jasper and Alice were fine… But then right before your birthday she began to get visions of her true mate. She was wrong to have kept happiness from Jasper. Then when I almost attacked you… Well we left… We set into motion what should have always been. It was true Bella, never once did I love you. I kept our kisses chaste never giving you what you or your body truly craved. My own mate was understanding, knowing she would have to wait out a humans life to keep the family together. I did it for the family."

I could sense the truth in his words, but the pain the coursed through my dormant blood stream caused me to see red. I concentrated on him I could feel the fire he felt, but I was numb. His screams echoed the small chamber as I tortured him. His screams of agony and despair.

I pulled back when Aro's hand touched my shoulder. "This remarkable, powerful woman came to me for death. Which I couldn't kill her, she had much potential and I was right. She is resentful and very guarded emotionally. I think Mr. Cullen. We will decide your fate, and the fate of your coven and mate in the span of three days. I will call Carlisle. Bella. Call Jasper. He must say nothing about you."

I knew where he was going with this while part of me was over joyed to get closure. I needed to hear it from them. All of them. I wouldn't let them see me, I would question them individually. Nothing would ever be the same…

I left the torture chambers leaving Edward panting and gasping for unneeded breath. He would pay…

I pulled out a phone and dialed a number I'd seen once as a human and memorized as an immortal.

"Who is this?" Jasper answered warily.

"Change of plans. You are to return to your coven. Tell them we refused you but granted Edward… Aro is calling. You will all appear before us and I will have a chance to speak to everyone one at a time."

"Bella… What's happened to you?"

"I was brought into a world where I finally… You'll know everything soon enough. Goodbye for now."

I hung up the phone feeling the traitorous venom tears I would never spill. I raced to my private quarters and paced the room. I had so much pent up energy. Normally I would call Demetri or Felix, but knowing Jasper was my mate I felt as though it would be a betrayal to him. To continue giving myself to other men… I paced back and forth unable to come up with a proper decision…

**A/N**

**Okay sorry this chapter is short! I've got little time right now my girls are being a handful, I also found out my mom who lives 3 hours away is having heart surgery on Thursday. So I'll be going there Thursday-Monday to visit. Next Chapter will be longer and everything will start to come together. **


	7. Chapter 6: All in a Row

**A/N**

**OMG You guys almost 100 alerts! :D That makes my day! I think since I can't really do much as far as helping my mom out right now, I would try to get a couple more chapters out before I have to go… Also I'm starting another story, but it's still being developed. It'd be a Jacob/Bella… But here we go… Thanks for the reviews guys. If I don't get to yours I'm sorry! It's not intentional, I try to reply to each review I get. :D**

**Chapter 7: All in a row**

**JPOV**

I held the phone pressed to my ear, although the line had already been disconnected. Had they really killed Edward? Was my brother really dead? Could Bella really have that much anger and hate in her system to kill her first love. As much as I didn't agree with Edward, I never wished him death…

I walked through the crowded airport, my limbs felt heavy as I made my way through security. Then I was boarding the plane to go home. It was here that I would have to think of a story to tell them. Without Edward there to confirm what I was saying, I was sure it would go a lot smoother, but I was still worried. I wanted to tell them… Bella was alive… Undead…

My mate, I still have time. I have to prove to her that we belong together. I have to bring her back from her insanity, I need to…

"Can I get you anything?" I petite blonde stewardess asked leaning a bit too close for comfort. Lust pulsing through her body.

"No, but thank you Darlin'." I smiled turning on the Southern Charm.

She smiled and backed away, but her emotions were overwhelming, especially with my own waging war against each other inside me… I sat back and closed my eyes. Letting the memories of Bella surface.

She was always so eager, the purest emotions of anyone I'd ever met. She was always so relieved when we were near her. Like she belonged. When it was time for her to go, the fear and anger bubbled but she never told us… What could have had Bella so torn up that she would be this? This angry mess of a soul?

Before I knew it the plane was landing. I walked from the plane my mind a complete fog, I wasn't expecting my family to be waiting for me. I looked to each of their faces. I couldn't tell them about Bella…

"Where's Edward?" Carlisle asked looking behind me.

The mood was tense and filled with friction.

"They denied me…" I mumbled.

"Jasper, where is Edward?" Alice asked pleadingly.

"They… Told me that they… granted…" But I couldn't finish the sentence.

I felt the guilt crush me. I fell to the floor sobbing. Esme always the loving mother came and wrapped her small arms around my frame crying as well. How I longed for the release tears brought.

"So we go to Italy?" Emmett asked apprehensive.

"We must face judgment." Carlisle confirmed.

The whirlwind of emotions were crippling. The force of the grief, despair, hopelessness. We were all feeling it. I had just left a plane in order to board another. I was exhausted, even for a vampire. I knew how things were supposed to be for Bella and I, but that thing in Volterra wasn't Bella. She wasn't the warm and soft human she once was. She was as hard and cold inside as she was outside.

**BPOV**

I couldn't go through with it, a romp in the hay with either of the two men I'd been toying with. My body was craving for Jasper in a way I didn't believe possible. But I couldn't do it, I wouldn't, especially for one of the Cullen Coven. But I couldn't just fuck someone who wasn't Jasper.

"Damn it!" I cursed punching a wall through the stone wall.

Frustrated I decided to go for a quick hunt. Feeding in Italy was hard, the wildlife near us were slim, but I refused human blood. I wouldn't cave now. As Edward once said, 'I don't want to be a monster.' I laughed at the irony of his words. He was the worst kind of monster, the kind that breaks the unsuspecting girls heart.

After my hunt I made my way back to the castle and into Aro's chambers.

"I sensed you wanted me?" I bowed.

"Yes, seems the Cullen's will be arriving tomorrow morning." Aro grinned.

I felt shocked, I hadn't thought it would be so soon. All the time I spent controlling myself and talking myself out of a nice hard screw so that I could somehow preserve myself for someone I had no intentions of ever being with. Now this?

Aro watched me with amusement coloring his vivid red eyes, "Demetri or Felix?" He asked causally.

He knew me well enough to know what was on my mind.

"Felix." I relented.

My tone was mostly defeated but I knew I would get the release I needed and I wouldn't have to be in control…

Aro chuckled, "I'll have him sent to your room Isabella."

I nodded and left the room quickly. My brain arguing with me.

_You need to save yourself for Jasper…_

Why? No one told me he was supposed to be my mate. Nothing is set in stone, how could I trust him? Any of them?

_You will in time. You'll regret this later._

It's not like I'm a virgin.

_That wasn't your choice…_

I need this!

My inner monologue was cut off with the sight of Felix standing at my door with a wicked sexy smile gracing his perfect features.

"Good evening Bella." He smiled.

"Felix."

We spared each other the awkwardness of conversation and made our way into my room. Once the door was closed and locked. Felix's massive form had me pressed roughly to the door. His size could rival Emmett's. But his face was harder from years of living here in Italy. His blood red eyes told me he chose to feed off humans. But there was something in him that brought out the animal in me.

His face was close to mine breathing in my face.

"Tell me what you want." He ordered, his voice rough and commanding.

"I need you." I told him honestly.

"You can do better than that." He insisted.

"Fuck me." I hissed at him.

My clothes were torn to shreds and I felt him thrust into me powerfully. His thrusts were quick and precise. They were what I needed to forget, to keep my head leveled.

"Tell me you like it." He commanded.

"I like it." I panted.

I felt the coils in my stomach tighten and I knew I was close. Two more thrusts and I exploded. The stress and anguish leaving my body blissfully tingling. I zoned out and let Felix finish with me. I knew he wanted more. I could feel it. But I didn't feel the same. Instead of staying he hurriedly got dressed and made his escape. It made me feel cheap, but maybe I was now.

I wasn't the type of girl someone could love, someone they could take home to mom. I was all kinds of messed up, and I knew that. But the thoughts now stung. I'd wanted that for so long. To be with someone, with the kind of love you read about in romance novels, but that didn't exist in the real world.

I don't know how long I lie on my bed thinking about things I had wanted, things I could no longer have. About the past and future before Aro was knocking on the door. "They're here."

I stood up shocked that I was still naked. I pulled out a mint green sun dress and pulled my robe on. Perfect.

I left my room walking through the halls with a purpose. Aro led me to our barely used living areas. This one in particular had three rooms. One was the a modest room where the Cullen's were waiting. The second was more intimate and the third was the largest with the Tvs.

"The rooms are sound proof?" I asked.

"Yes."

I nodded once and stood just outside the door listening. The Cullen's were eerily silent and I swept my gift over them making them blind. They wouldn't know my voice yet…

I walked in and they were all in protective stances, all but Jasper.

"Hello. I will be conducting interviews with you all. First I would like Rosalie." I spoke clearly.

I could feel the bewilderment from Rose as I gently grasped her arm and led her into the more intimate room and sat her in a chair.

"I don't have to sit." She told me harshly.

"I know. But I want you to." I told her coldly. "So tell me about the human."

"What do you want to know?" She asked hautilly.

"Listen here Miss Priss. You might be the most beautiful Vampire on the planet. But I'm the most powerful. I'm deciding your fate today. All of you broke the rules by letting a human run amok knowing the truth. None of you changing her or offering her death. She might not have told anyone, but this family is on trial. SPEAK!" I shouted.

Rosalie's back straightened, I could feel her fear and she took a deep breath. "The human entered our lives and I had distaste for her. She was making the wrong choice. She wanted to be like us, but she didn't see she had everything. She had options. When we left, I thought it was for the best. She could have the human life she deserved, away from the controlling hand of my brother."

"If you don't mind, I would like permission to peek inside your head." I told her, I didn't want to intrude on her privacy.

She nodded once, and instantly I was thrown back through time.

_Rosalie Hale was lovely, her long blonde hair piled on top of her head in elegant curls. Her brown eyes, eyes staring at her through the mirror. She pulled on a curve enhancing dress over her bodice and under garments. Her servants were helpful in getting her ready. Once she was done she walked down the stairs. Her mother was waiting in the kitchen wearing a dirty apron. _

"_Rose, Your father forgot his lunch. Could you be a dear and run it to the bank." _

""_Of course, Mother." Rose replied dutifully._

_Her mother had dirty blond hair with soft blue eyes, they were sparkling mischievously._

_The walk to the bank wasn't long, but Rose walked slower than neciarry. She loved the way the men would stop what they were doing and watch her walk. She loved the feeling of power with the sun shining brightly overhead. Once she arrived to the bank she spotted her fathers flaxen blond head speaking with an attractive man._

_Rose paused and discreetly eyed the man. He was taller than her father, somewhere near 6''4 he was lean with coal black hair and piercing blue eyes. His trimmed goatee made him look even more handsome. Not wasting more time she timidly approached the man and her father._

_Mr. Hale turned and a wide grin broke across his features, "Here she is. This is my lovely daughter Rosalie."_

_The man looked at her, his eyes raking over her young body hungrily, "Pleased to meet you." He greeted tipping his hat._

_Rosalie curtsied and smiled at him._

_Royce King was to inheret the bank, as a manager he would be making twice what her father made in a year. It was all part of a scheme her bringing her father his lunch. As expected Royce began courting Rose shortly after being introduced. _

The memory faded to a small brick house where Rose was talking to a woman with light brown hair and vivid green eyes…

"_Vera, I think I'm falling in love with him!" Rosalie gushed._

"_Are you going to marry him?" Vera asked with as much excitement._

"_I think so…" Rose trailed off smiling, "I can't wait to have my own family."_

"_Henry is a handful." Vera chuckled lifting a toddler no more than a year old into her lap._

_His hair was dark and his eyes were blue. His dimples and impish smile were adorable. The love Rosalie felt for the infant and the envy towards her friend were shocking._

_Rosalie left that night after seeing Vera with her husband and wondered mutely to herself if she was really in love with Royce? To be sure she would have more money, more fancy cars and clothes than Vera… Would she be happy._

_She walked through the darkened city streets suddenly wishing she'd called her father for a ride. Young woman shouldn't be alone on any nights…_

"_Rose… Rosie!" A man called._

_She stopped to see Royce standing under a street lamp, he was with four other men. They were all well dressed and Rose approached them apprehensively._

"_There's my girl." Royce chuckled grabbing Rose around the waist forcing a hot open mouth kiss to her mouth._

"_You're drunk!" Rose told him in distaste._

"_Told you she was looker, eh Bob?" Royce ignored her asking a tall lean man holding a glass of scotch…_

"_Hard to tell with all those clothes on." He snickered._

_The rest of the memory unfolded like a movie making me sick to my stomach. The five men each taking their turn pumping themselves in and out of her. The sickening sound of her head smashing into the cold damp cement as they attempted to disguise her screams… The vision was blurry as the drunk men fled, when the handsome doctor approached the broken body begging for death…_

"It's not that I hated Bella. She had everything I could never have…" Rosalie's voice broke.

I felt all of her emotions and they nearly broke me. I stood up and got a tight grip on her and led her to the next room. She opted to stand in the back corner, the grief washing over her was so intense I barely made it out of the room. I took a few minutes to compose myself. Trying to wrap my brain around the information I had absorbed. Once I felt calm and collected I decided I would dive into a person that would be hard to deal with… Emmett.

I walked back into the room silently, the family stood divided and wary. "Emmett." I called as if I were a nurse at any hospital or clinic.

"Where's Rosie?" He asked. The fear and gripping pain the rippled through him, forced me to believe he thought the worst.

"She's fine. I will not pass judgment until I've spoken to everyone." I assured him taking his massive arm.

He relaxed slightly and I led him to the second room and into the seat where Rose had just been previously.

"You want to know about Bella?" Emmett asked, once I had taken my seat.

"I do." I replied.

"She was a spunky little human. She fit in with the family as soon as she crossed the threshold of our home. I could see the happiness that radiated from her whenever we were all together. She dreaded going home. I never knew why, I still don't know… I never got to ask her. She was like a little sister. She was fun to tease because she could blush, it was a dead give away that she was embarrassed." He reminisced.

"If you cared so deeply for the human girl, why did you leave?"

"You can read minds right?" He asked changing the subject.

"I can."

"Then take a look."

_The family stood in the living room there was glass everywhere. Unlit candles and flowers surrounding the room. Carlisle sat on one sofa with Esme in his arms. Alice stood on one side of the room next to Edward. Emmett was presumably next to Rose, and Jasper was on the opposite end of the room. He looked so angry._

"_We need to leave Forks." Edward spoke calmly._

"_Edward?" Carlisle asked, gently pushing Esme off his lap and standing._

"_Bella isn't safe near our kind." he explained._

"_She isn't safe with you." Jasper spat._

"_You're one to talk" Alice shouted her eyes flashing, "Attacking my best friend."_

"_I didn't attack her! I was going for Edward! He was the one…"_

"_Enough Jasper." Carlisle spoke clearly, pinching the bridge of his nose, "No, one blames you. You're the newest to this lifestyle…"_

"_You're not listening to me. Edward was going to kill her."_

"_Rediculous." Esme scoffed._

"_We need to leave." Edward spoke to Carlisle._

"_It's the best thing for her. She can have a normal human life. She'll fall in love and have babies, and she'll forget us." Alice spoke softly._

"_We need to tell her." Emmett spoke up._

"_Out of the question." Edward hissed._

"_Like hell. Come on, she's my little sister." Emmett complained walking towards the door._

"_If you go to her, don't come home." Rose spat frostily._

I pulled back, it was too painful to relive that.

"Would you have changed her?" I asked.

"Hell yeah! I just…" His emotions shifted to sadness.

"Alright. Let me take you to Rose."

I placed his hand in hers and they hugged each other tightly, and I left the room to give them a moment. Then I decided to bring in Esme.

Once she was seated I took a moment to collect my thoughts.

"You say Bella was family, but you left. Why?" I asked.

"Edward thought it was for the best." She answered immediately.

"Who's the parent in that relationship?" I asked harshly.

"I am." she answered her voice agitated.

"Then why leave someone you considered a daughter without so much as a goodbye? If you truly loved her? When she came to us she was a shell. But we'll get to that. She believed there was no one left who cared for her… As her 'mother' you sit here thinking about how much she meant to you. All lies." I spat.

Esme stiffened as if she'd been slapped.

"We didn't have a choice. Edward wanted to keep her safe from Jasper, and Alice saw her happy."

"They lied. Edward already had… well has a mate. A miss Tanya Denali. They've been mated for the past 50 years in secret. Also it was Edward who tried to lunge for Bella. His singers blood was shed and Jasper sensed the blood lust and tried to protect Bella. Who was supposed to be his mate. Alice was selfish and didn't care who she ruined in the process." I divulged.

"I didn't know."

But the look on her face and the guilt told me otherwise.

"You were in on it." I accused.

"_Edward, what does this mean for you and Tayna?"_

"_She understands mom. It's the only way to keep the family together. To keep Alice from losing Jasper."_

"_I don't see how that's your business."_

"_I love Alice mom. She's my favorite sister. All I care about is her happiness."_

"_Just be careful my son."_

I looked at her my heart aching. She knew all along. I felt so betrayed. I led her to the other room roughly and slammed the door. I paced the halls berating myself. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't… Next came Carlisle.

The good doctor was well in the dark and blindly followed his most beloved son. He was more likely to believe the son he created than the one with trouble with the diet. He didn't know of Esme's involvement and was shocked that she had kept it from him. He was hurting too. He did love me as a daughter. His memories weren't so much memories as perceptions of how he saw the world. He truly did believe that Edward had my best interests at heart, and knew so little about the truth. I had half a mind to enlighten him, but I decided I would do it when they were all together.

Now it was time for Alice… The pixie who claimed to be my best friend. We shall see…

She sat there a sympathetic expression while her emotions raged out of control. Fear, Anger, Resentment, Fear, Hate…

"You were the humans best friend?"

"I was, I was heartbroken when we had to leave." She told me, but it was all lies.

"You loved her as a sister?"

"Of course! I would play Bella Barbie and it was a lot of fun!" She told me with false enthusiasm.

"Her death?"

"I was… It's still hard." She choked, but her emotions were relieved.

"Then why are you feeling such relief? Why is your brain jumping for joy?"

….

"Let me tell you something Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, I can read every thought you ever had… In fact I intend to…"

"_Edward after everything we've done to get Jasper to come with us and stay away from Phoniex was a waste!" Alice screeched._

"_What do you mean, love?"_

"_I mean that we spent all that time coming here we didn't dig into her background."_

"_Alright?"_

"_Her real father lives here in Forks… Chief Swan. She's coming here Edward…"_

"_What does this mean for the family?"_

"_It means I'm going to lose Jazz and the family will split. Emmett and Rose will side with Jasper and Bella and they'll all leave…" Alice was sounding desperate._

"_What happens, if… I go to her?"_

"_That's genius Edward. She'll fall in love with you, and you won't have to pretend forever since we'll never turn her and no one will be the wiser…"_

"You went through all that trouble just to break up with Jasper right before Bella's 18th birthday… why?"

"I saw him. My true mate, Garrett. We met in the woods and have been secretly seeing each other until it was the right time to introduce him."

"So you ruined that happiness of two people and think you'll still get your happy ever after?"

"I didn't know…" She spoke numbly.

Her emotions swirled from guilt to happiness, despair and anger.

"Tell me something then, when Edward came at you wanting to leave why did you side with him? You'd already broken Mr. Whitlock's heart. Why force him to leave, why pretend you didn't know he spoke the truth?"

"I didn't want to lose him."

I hissed at her and flung her into the next room with a less than graceful hand. I then marched to retrieve Jasper. I lifted the veil from his senses so he could see again.

"Bella?"

"I'll explain everything, now come with me. I'll take you to them. I will not reveal myself until the end."

He followed me into the room where the family was huddled together with their lies and deceit hanging in the air.

"Now that you are all back together I'm going to use a power I picked up from a nomad named Nessa."

I pushed the gift outward and showed them everything that had transpired in the rooms. The answers, the memories, the visions, everything. The collective gasp as members began to draw a line. Carlisle's disgust at his family.

"Now. Here are the memories of Miss Swan."

**Bruises fade father but pain remains the same**

**And I still remember how you kept me so afraid**

**Strength is my mother for all the love she gave**

**Every morning that I wake **

**I look back to yesterday**

**And I'm OK**

_5 year old Bella was huddled behind her rocking chair in the dark. The screams of Renee echoing from down the hall._

"_Charlie… please." Renee begged._

"_I never wanted a daughter, why couldn't you give me a son?" Charlie slurred drunkenly._

"_I can't control th…" _

_Renee never finished her sentece, the echo of a slap and crash to the floor caused the young Bella to whimper in fear. She lived in fear everyday, never knowing what Charlie might do next… The door slamming caused Bella to shrink even farther into the corner. Her eyes were closed and her tiny body was trembling. Her bedroom door flung open, the light illuminating the toddler bed that was empty._

"_Isabella!" Charlie thundered, the nightstand being overturned the glass lamp shattering._

_Bella bit her tongue her thoughts were screaming out._

_**Make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away from here, please god make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here.**_

_The mantra repeating over and over in her head tears slipping silently down her red cheeks. But she was found._

_Charlie roughly gripping her arm, hearing the sickening snap and the howling scream through Bella's lips._

_Her through her into the hallway where she tumbled down the stairs her leg twisting unnaturally under her body. Her blurred vision as Charlie left the house. Renee running down the stair lifting the dazed child into her lap. The finger marks around Renee's throat._

"_I'll get us out of here baby…"_

_The vision turned into the Bella growing up in Phoniex the resentment Renee threw at the young girl. Bella gracefully taking care of Renee managing the checkbooks from the age of 8..._

_Renee's wedding and phone call to Charlie that Bella overheard._

"_Can you take her for her junior and senior year?"_

"_I don't know why you couldn't Charlie?"_

"_I didn't want her either! You're the one who knocked me up"_

"_She's coming. I'm done with this. I want a real family."_

_The pain rippling through Bella. The feeling of loss and abandonment, the fear of her father._

_The thoughts she locked away. When she was with the Cullen's._

_**I fit in here. I have a real mom. A real Dad. The big brother I've always wanted, the sister I never knew I could have… Jasper… Edward… Rose might not like me, but her hostility is refreshing from the treatment I get at home.**_

_The pain when Edward left, his speech word for word. Her views from her party knowing Jasper was trying to help. The knowledge that Alice had seen her real mate. The feeling of abandonment, the dark period. Charlie's sexual assaults, the hospital visits… Jacob… Jacob imprinting. Then going to the Volturi and being changed against her will being forced to live a life and existence filled with anger. Her romps with Felix and Demetri. The killing of Charlie and the girl who looked like her. _

Once the images were thrust into their minds I lifted the veil to stand before the people I had once loved so much as a family.

"I've gone through so much in my life. Much more than any of you could ever comprehend. I finally found somewhere I belonged. Where people appeared to love me, but it was all a lie. How could I ever forgive any of you? How could I ever move on from this? I can't do it again. I won't do it again. Your clan has ruined me. You may all leave, knowing all the damage you've inflicted upon me and the ones you supposedly love. You know everything I know. You know about Edward, I will torture him until he's reached the pain I've felt. I won't stop, until he begs for death. Leave"

**Alrgiht guys. Hopefully I did a good job for you! I'm about to go out of town tomorrow morning until Monday to visit my mom who is having heart surgery. Love you all! You're all amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**


	8. Chapter 7: The path of least Resistance

**A/N**

**First sorry it's been so long, as most of you know real life set in and took some time from me, then with being out of town some bills weren't paid on time but now everything is in working order! WOOT WOOT! Thanks for your patience,**

**Over 100 alerts now! Yay! You guys have made me feel like I'm on top of the world! Figuratively of course! :D**

**Thank You for all the well wishers and prayers for my mom. She came through surgery excellently and just has to take heart medications now, but she's all patched up… And I want to really thank you guys. Your support not only for my story, but for my family is very touching, and I can't thank you enough.**

**RoryAceHayden147: Great Job with the Forest Gump Quote from the last chapter! :D I wasn't sure if people would pick up on that or not! **

**And now for the long awaited next chapter, let the reading commence.**

**Chapter 7: The path of least Resistance**

**JPOV**

We watched in awe and shock as Bella told us to leave and quickly fled from us. The pain and anger rolling over her in waves. The atmosphere of this little room that was once permeated in fear was now divided.

Esme and Alice on one side filled with remorse and guilt.

Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, and myself on the other with confusion, anger, and betrayal.

Rose was tricky she felt guilty.

"You aren't guilty of anything." I told her.

"I am. I never gave her a chance, I treated her as an outcast because I thought her life was so much more than mine… The pain and suffering… I had to go through some of that once, but for her to go through that on a weekly if not somewhat daily basis." Rose cut off shaking her head.

"No one knew." Carlisle said slowly.

"Someone did." I hissed looking towards Alice.

The room stayed quiet for a long moment then Esme started towards Carlisle and all hell broke lose. Emmett and Rose hissed at her crouching in front of our father. Esme stopped looking at her children in shock.

"Carlisle?"

"I can't right now Esme…" He said simply.

She let out a choked sob and fled from the room with Alice hot on her heels.

"What do we do?" Emmett asked suddenly.

"Go home." Carlisle replied in a defeated tone.

"I'm not going home." I told him defiantly.

"It's what she wants, Jasper." He spoke calmly.

"No, I'm not abandoning her again Carlisle. I can't… I won't." I told him heatedly.

"I understand my son, we'll always have a home for you."

"I don't think we should leave either." Rose spoke hesitantly.

"Rosalie?" Carlisle asked in disbelief.

"We need to talk to Bella. Make things right." She explained.

"I don't know if it's possible." Carlisle spoke.

The guilt and remorse were flowing freely, "It's not your fault." I told him.

"I saw the signs Jasper. I didn't even ask her."

"We all believed the lies Carlisle." I told him.

When it was finally decided the remaining family members decided to go before Aro and ask for housing for as long as it took. I followed the faint smell of Freesia and Lavender to a small corridor. I saw Bella with her eyes guarded, feeling of unworthiness and self hate radiating from her body. She was talking to Felix.

"Again?" He was asking.

"I need it Felix, it's the only way I can relax…" She pleaded.

"You know I'm always up for it, but I want you to say." He chuckled, "Like you mean it."

I watched the intimate way Bella touched his chest and she purred at him, "Come on Felix, come fuck me. I want you… Need you to fuck me."

I lost control, I wasn't anything short of Jasper Whitlock, God of War. The power that crashed like waves around me filled me with confidence. I strode forward as Felix's hand came closer to touching Bella… My Bella. The images Bella had shared with us burned the inside of my skull. I reached out and grasped his hand painfully.

"You will NOT touch her." I hissed venom dripping down my chin.

Felix turned his size was impressive and had I been just a normal vampire I would fear him. But it was him who should fear me. I could see recognition as he took in my marred face.

"You." he gasped.

I grinned evilly, "Me."

I let go of his arm and watched him flee down the narrow hallway. I then turned my burning gaze to Bella. She was with her back against the stone wall. Her eyes were still guarded but I could see the fire burning inside her. Lust seemed to be seeping from her pours and it was intoxicating.

"You're mine." I told her stepping forward so that my body pressed into hers.

She wasn't given a chance to react. My mouth was on hers and we melted together perfectly. But it wasn't a sweet kiss, no. It was filled with passion, angst, love, hate, longing. It was everything I wanted to say and couldn't.

I pulled back my hand twisting into her hair as my nose skimmed from her jaw line slowly, gently nipping at her neck.

"Tell me what you was Bella." I growled.

She was silent, her unneeded breaths coming hard and fast.

"Tell me." I growled.

"You."

"Tsk Tsk Darlin', tell me." I ordered.

"Fuck me."

Her words unleashed the God of War, I was once again the person I'd vowed to keep hidden. Her eyes were black and filled with need and desire. I lifted her up roughly pressing her back harder into the stone wall. I no longer cared where we were. We were out in the open where anyone could see us, but I didn't care. She was MINE and I was claiming her. I wanted everyone to know she belonged to me.

I ripped the clothes from her slim form and took in her naked torso. Her chest was amazing. Her breasts were perfectly even and round with pink perky nipples. They stood erect as her panting became louder. I wanted to taste them, but this was about need.

My hand traveled to the smooth skin between her legs and felt the slick folds, she was ready.

"You're **MINE**." I told her as I forcibly ripped my pants off.

She looked down her eyes were wide with wonder and I felt her unease and worry. But I was too far gone to care. I gripped her hips painfully tight and slammed her small body down on to my waiting cock.

The warmth surprised me. She was so hot and tight, virgin tight. Though I knew she had been with others. She was amazing.

"Fuck Bella. You're so tight." I told her swiveling my hips, grinding into her.

Her head was thrown back in pleasure her eyes glazed over. "Harder." she whimpered.

I slowed my pace and growled. "What?"

"FUCK ME HARDER JASPER." She screamed out in frustration.

I began slamming into her as hard as I could, it felt like I was tearing her in two. The animalistic noises we were making echoed through the empty hallway. When I felt her walls constricting.

"Say my name." I commanded her.

I pushed myself harder and faster. Her arms were around my neck and twined into my hair. "ja… ja… Jas… JASPER." She screamed out.

Her body convulsed on mine and my own release caused me to bellow out her name equally as loud.

Though neither of us had to breath we were panting sill clinging to one another.

I felt myself regaining control and I couldn't believe what had just happened.

"Take me to my room." she told me.

BPOV

Jasper carried me to my room and I walked towards the shower. I could feel my defenses crumbling but I couldn't do it. I turned on him.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking you quite enjoyed yourself." He answered smugly.

I hated the way my body had reacted to him, practically singing with joy. So much more than when I was with Demi or Felix. It was more. It was right. But I couldn't live through that again. I pulled as much strength as I could muster and turned to face him.

"I'm not yours." I told him in monotone.

I could see the hurt flash through his eyes as he reined his emotions in leaving a blank slate. Not even his mind was open to me. It was frustrating to no, end.

"You are."

Those two simple words angered me. "I belong to no one." I hissed.

"You could feel it too." He pleaded.

His eyes betraying the hurt and confusion he was trying so hard to not feel. I felt the cool mask on indifference take over my features.

"I felt nothing but a good fuck. I could have gotten that from Felix… Better from him or Demi." I told him, using my pet name for Demetri.

His nostrils flared angrily, "You're lying to me, and yourself."

"Leave my room Jasper." I shouted.

He studied my face for a long moment and made me wonder what he was seeing until he strode across the room and his lips were on mine. The current that ran through my body both excited and scared me. My defenses came crumbling down. I was once again the scared and broken girl that Edward left in the forest.

"I can't do this Jasper. I can't. I won't be hurt again, I almost didn't make it… I wanted death. But then I got immortality. I'm not the small weak human anymore. I'm the single most powerful vampire in existence and I can't… I can't feel helpless anymore because I'm not." I cried out in exasperation.

My walls were down and I could feel him, he was feeling my emotions soaking in them. The pain that flashed across his face, the concern in his endless gaze. How could I deny myself this? Wasn't this supposed to be fate? Jasper and I? But things were moving far to quickly.

"Talk to me Bella. Tell me what you** need**."

"A friend."

"A friend?" He repeated with his brow cocked.

"Yes, I've been so… harsh and cruel. I need just a friend."

"I can be your friend Bella."

It was like a weight had been lifted off me. There were things I showed him but no one had ever heard the whole truth through actual words. I broke down. I talked about Charlie and the way he made me feel when he was inside me. How useless and weak I felt. I was powerless to stop him. I talked about feeling inferior to his entire family, my plain features among their beauty. How I paled in comparison but for whatever reason they kept me around. Edward's betrayal. That he took everything from me. Everything I loved about life. Every person who mattered were just gone one day, vanished. As if they never existed. The horrible nights where I would pray for Charlie to kill me. Opening up myself and falling in love with Jacob, only to go through a second round of betrayal. The word fate tossed around with bitterness and anger. How I believed it was all a cruel joke and I got dealt the losing hand in life.

He listened to me wail and sob getting everything off my chest all the while rubbing soothing circles into my back. When I was done I looked at him and whispered, "I'm not worth it Jasper, I'm not worth the pain, I'm not worth the hassle. I'm broken Jasper. I'm like a junk car. I'm never going to run right."

"I don't believe that for a second Bella. You've been so strong because you had to be. You were filled with so much anger and hate and the only outlet you had was through Demetri and Felix. You were living vicariously through people and that isn't a way to live. Lets spend time together. We can sit and talk. We can bring you around the family slowly. We'll make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again."

He was so sincere but I still had to ask, "How can I…"

"You saw my past Bella. I've had my fair share of heartache starting with Maria. She was the first person I thought I loved. I thought what her and I had was real. But I was just a pawn, a strong pawn that needed to be kept happy to keep her wars won. Then there was Alice. She was so beautiful and she wanted me. Even if I could feel her disgust when she would see my scars. You've never once looked at me like that. I would like us to try…"

"Try?" I asked.

"That's all I'm asking."

"Friendship.. That's all I can offer right now."

"That's fine. I'll wait for you forever Bella."

I broke down sobbing and he gently lifted me and cradled me to his chest. I knew he wouldn't hurt me but I wasn't ready to let go. I had been irrevocably changed and there was no going back. I wasn't going to be the shy and meek girl I once was. I would speak my mind without thinking, I would tear someone apart because I could. That was who I was. The only problem I was worried about was what would happen when Jasper realized I was never going to be the same again. Would he leave me too?

"I'm going to check to see if Carlisle was able to get us some rooms."

"Who is staying?" I asked him apprehensively.

"Carlisle, Emmett, Rose and myself."

I thought about it for a long moment and I looked him. "Could you send Rose here."

He gave me a confused look but nodded. I watched him leave the room and tried to collect myself. I didn't know why I wanted to see Rosalie, I just knew I had to clear the air with her so to speak.

I didn't have to wait long. There was a tentative knock on the door and I shut down my powers. I wanted a normal conversation with her.

"Come in." I called.

The door opened slowly and she slipped inside. She was as beautiful as ever and she looked apprehensive.

"Yeah?"

"I had no idea…" She mumbled.

"No one did."

"Alice did." She seethed.

"What's done is done. She did save me once or twice. Although with her ulterior motives you would have thought she would have just let the inevitable happen."

"Did you ever stop to think that if she had someone would have noticed and you would have been changed like I was. Once you were a vampire I'm sure things would have clicked between you and Jasper… Maybe that's why she saved you so many times."

I stopped and thought about it. It made sense. That she would do everything to keep Jasper and I apart.

"So… What's going on with you and Jasper?" She asked looking down embarrassedly.

"We're just friends." I told her honestly.

She snorted, "For now."

I smiled at her pleasantly. "We'll see."

We both chuckled and she looked at me closely. "We're a lot alike Bella. I would like a chance to make it all up to you."

"Perhaps. But for a while I would like to just focus on building a friendship with Jasper. Too much at once might cause a relapse." I muttered.

"Relapse?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, "I would become catatonic and unresponsive because if I get too attached to someone too quick all my abandonment issues infest my every thought." I told her.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled again.

"It's alright. But if you'll excuse me I need to meet with Aro."

"Ok."

We left my room together and parted when we came to the first intersecting corridors. I walked swiftly to Aro's office and let myself in.

He sat behind his desk his crimson eyes looked dangerous. "So you and the God of War?" He asked.

"Was a one time thing." I told him offhandedly.

"So they are leaving?"

"Jasper is staying." I corrected him.

"Ah, I see."

"We're friends." I told him stressing the word.

"You will still be part of the guard?"

"Of course." I replied in a business tone.

"The Mr. Edward Cullen needs looking in on." He grinned.

I nodded curtly and left the chambers.

JPOV

I left Bella's room with a renewed sense of hope. But I knew it wouldn't work if the rest of the family stayed in the castle. If Carlisle could find a home here in Italy near Volterra would be best.

I found the room and let myself in.

"Damn Jasper, trying to break down the royal kingdom?" Emmett chuckled, thrusting his hips.

The resounding crack of Rosalie smacking him stopped his teasing.

"Rose, Bella wants to talk to you."

No sooner had I said the words and she was gone. I turned to Emmett and Carlisle and began to explain what happened after Bella and I…

"You think we should buy a home near here?" Carlisle asked in disbelief.

"You wouldn't be abandoning her, but you wouldn't be in here constantly and it might help us make some progress with her."

"You have a good point son. I'll see what I can find."

It wasn't long until he printed up a fax of the perfect place. I was in awe with the artistry of the home. Leave it to Carlisle to find a castle 45 miles from here with it's own private beach. 15 rooms all with their own showers. Secret tunnels and hidden rooms. It was the coolest property he'd ever bought.

"So why this one?" I asked him in awe.

"I remember Bella talking to Edward once about loving old castles especially with secret passages. I was hoping once she warmed up to us…"

"That she would move in?"

"Her room would be one of the secret rooms. Only I will know all of them. If she wishes to divulge where her room is she may. But I won't tell." He chuckled.

"Already have it picked out?"

"Yep."

I chuckled and watched as my father and brother left, Rose following behind them. It didn't take her long.

I walked into the room I would now be occupying and decided to lay back on the bed and read, there wasn't anything else to do…

**AN**

**I wanted this chapter to be longer but it seemed like a good place to end it for now. Thank you again for all the love and support, and I'll get to work on the next chapter, well editing it. :D**


	9. Chapter 8: Rebuilding

**A/N**

**Thanks again for the overwhelming love and support for the story! :D You guys really rock! Some of the reviews made me squeal with joy! Thanks for thinking I could give S.M. a run for her money! :D That made my day! Here's to you MusicLover333. 3**

**Sorry it took longer than I anticipated, I didn't like the way it was flowing so I rewrote this chapter. And I'm going to be going back to school… College indeed. :P Hopefully you all love it! :D**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns the characters and Toni Braxton owns the song. **

**Chapter 8: Rebuilding**

The thought of going to the dungeons to torture my ex-boyfriend didn't excite me as I thought it would. I hesitated outside Aro's office and turned on my heel and re-entered.

"Iz a bella?" He drawled.

"I…"

"Yes my child." he encouraged.

"I'm not finding it as pleasant… inflicting pain on… him…" I mumbled my eyes cast to the floor.

"There is more?" Aro asked perceptively.

"I've been writing out my emotions… I'd love to express them in song, but…"

"But what?" He asked curiously.

"If I were to sing my feelings, I'm worried if I did karaoke that it would draw attention to what we are."

I worried my lower lip still unsure whether or not I should look up and meet Aro's gaze.

"Well there are plenty of Vampires who are in the eyes of humans." He told me. The seriousness of his tone alerted me that he was telling the truth.

"Really? Who?" I asked looking at him in awe.

"Justin Timberlake, Carrie Underwood, Tom Cruise, Christopher Walkin, Clint Eastwood… Just to name a few." He chuckled.

I just stare at him my mouth agape in surprise.

"It's a well kept secret, such a shame when we have to dispose of them…"

I thought back in my head mentally of all the celebrity deaths, but I didn't dare voice my opinion. Instead I collected my thoughts filing them away quickly.

"So you wouldn't mind if I… sang?"

"Go to the grand room. Sing as you wish. Let it all out Isabella." His tone was softer. Fatherly…

I took a deep breath and ran as fast as I could to the grand room. There was a stage and a microphone. I walked closer to the stage and decided it was time for me to let go. I needed to let Edward go. I needed to let the pain go… I needed to let him go…..

JPOV

I threw the book I had been attempting to read to the side. There was no way I could sit here and do nothing. I needed to let Bella know how I felt. I left my room and stopped dead when my senses were cut off completely. I crouched defensively wondering if it was some sick joke either Bella or Alec wanted to play. But then my ears could hear her. Her voice was honey and perfection. It sounded raw with pain and I stood still listening.

"Don't leave me in all this pain,

Don't leave me out in the rain

Come back and bring back my smile

Come take these tears away

I need your arms to hold me now

The nights are so unkind

Bring back those nights when I held you beside me…."

_The pain was intense. It brought me to my knees and I realized I wasn't in the Volturi castle. I was in the forest in Forks. This was Bella's memory. She was sharing her story through this heartbreaking song._

_She was standing so still. The smell of the salty tears cascading down her angelic face. I watched in slow motion as Edward ran from her leaving her alone and cold in the rain… _

_Flash_

_I was in Bella's room. She was sitting up screaming. Tears mingled with sweat matted her hair to her head. Her arms raised to protect her face. The nightmare flickered in and out, being alone. Charlie screaming in rage at the audacity she had to wake him from his slumber. Blow by blow as he forced her to shut up…_

_Flash_

_Love and Calm washed over me and I was transported to Bella's bedroom in Forks. Edward's arms were around her holding her securely. Her fathers loud drunken snores came filtering in from the hallway. Bella snuggled closer to Edward clutching him to the point where it was almost painful for her…_

"Unbreak my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Uncry the tears

I cried so many nights

Unbreak my heart

My heart"

_Bella's voice was filled with anger and sadness. She felt unworthy and hopeless. The nights that Charlie raped and beat her. The vivid imagery made me want to vomit. The fear was so thick it was crippling._

_Waking up screaming even though she was staying with Jacob. The way he was attentive and tried to soothe her back to sleep. But she never felt completely safe. The resolve she was feeling to never let another man make her feel safe. That she needed self reliance._

"Take back that sad word goodbye

Bring back the joy to my life

Don't leave here with these tears

Come and kiss the pain away

I can't forget the day you left

Time is so unkind

And life is so cruel without you here beside me…"

_I couldn't fathom her pain. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life…_

_Flash_

_Edward giving her chaste sweet kisses. Her heart racing, lust and desire raging within her. _

_Flash_

_Edward and his harsh words leaving Bella alone._

_Flash_

_Charlie's raised fish as it made purchase with Bella's stomach._

"Unbreak my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Uncry these years

I cried so many nigfhts

Unbreak my hear

My heart…

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Bring back the nights when I held you beside me.

Oh

Unbreak my hear

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Uncry these tears

I cried so many, many night

Oh unbreak my

_Flash_

"_You'll never be good enough for him Bells. You belong to me. I'm your father. I don't know what that boy sees in you…"_

_Flash_

"_You're not good for me Bella." Edward's words echoing over and over again. As she crumpled to the forest floor in the fetal position._

_Flash_

"_I imprinted Bella. You're going to have to leave." Jacob's tone with light, but the joy and happiness in his eyes is what broke Bella. She wouldn't ever have that…_

Unbreak my heart, oh baby

Come back and say you love me

Unbreak my heart

Sweet darlin'

Without you I just can't go on…

Say that you love

Say that you love

Tell me you love

Unbreak my heart…"

I could see again and her tearless sobs resounded through the empty hallways. The pain I felt was the pain of the entire guard. The pity and anger they felt for a man I once called brother. My angel… was truly broken.

BPOV

I climbed from the stage and raced through the deserted halls to my room. I slammed the door shut behind me, my breathing was shallow and short. Though I had no, physical need for the air it was a human trait that would be hard to ignore. I collapsed on my bed crying and clawing at the sheets. The anger and frustration welled up inside me. I wanted to cry. The need for the warm salty liquid to fill my eyes and the release of freeing them. But I was stone. Stone can not cry. I lay stubbornly on the bed, I hadn't intended on sharing so much with everyone. But my cool exterior was cracking. I was still a girl, a woman. I was still fragile and I still had a heart. And my deepest desire to be loved and cherished was there beneath the hard walls I'd built.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice sounded after three sharp knocks to my door.

"Yes?" I called out reigning in all my emotions and making my face stoic and impassive.

He opened the door and slipped fluidly inside. His golden hair hung in his face, his wide penetrating eyes searched mine before he spoke.

"I had… No… I'm so…"

"So you heard." I told him. It wasn't a question. He'd heard my song and the desires that came with it.

He was in front of me and I cast my eyes downward. I fought hard to hide all of my insecurities. My faults with my foolish pride… Jasper's finger gently lifted my chin so his eyes could again search mine. But what shocked me was the concern and love I not only saw in his eyes, but the emotions that wrapped around me like a cocoon.

"You still love Edward?"

I took a millisecond to gather my thoughts before answering him.

"I do, and part of me always will, despite everything. But I'm not in love with him anymore. I don't want him back Jasper. This song I wrote a while back… it was time for me to vocalize it…"

His face became impassive as he once again began searching my eyes. I wanted to trust him, but I was so scared. His gaze never faltered and I slipped. The emotions inside me broke like a damn and rushed out. I looked down again unable to see the disgust that would surely be on his face. But I had to. I looked up slowly and his eyes were pitch black and he wasn't breathing. I froze like the proverbial deer in head lights. His warm hand wrapped around my neck and pulled me to him.

His lips brushed mine softly at first, then pressed more firmly. A moan caught in my throat and came out as a growl. His velvet tongue swept across my bottom lip seeking permission that I granted. His moan was low and filled with need. The kiss was raw with a passion I'd never quite experienced before. He was pushing all of his love, faith, hope into the kiss and it warmed me from the inside. But the years of pain I'd endured, insecurities began to creep back up.

"You're worth it." He murmered with his lips against mine.

The traveled to my neck where he nipped and bit at the hard flesh. "You're worth it." He chanted.

His warm mouth trailed down my exposed collarbone causing my head to fall back. My body was tingling in anticipation and need. I needed Jasper. It was different than anything I'd ever experienced before.

Gingerly he removed my top, his lips traveling along my newly uncovered skin. His tongue dancing in lazy circles along my shoulders and down my torso. My breathing was more labored as I gasped filling my lungs with air they didn't need. His hands came behind me expertly unclasping my bra. I was naked and exposed from the waist up. His eyes were the blackest black and hooded with lust.

"You're so worth it Isabella."

The way my name rolled off his tongue was unlike anyone else ever saying my name. In that moment it was only Jasper, and deep down I realized it was only ever him. He was the one. Just like that my defenses came crumbling down like a rockslide.

"Jasper. I…" I started and realized I didn't know how to voice the feelings that were surrounding me. "Make love to me."

The words rolled off my tongue easily enough, but the sensations were so foreign. I wanted him to love me, I needed to be loved…

"Oh Bella. My Bella." he murmured.

He began backing me up slowly until we were both in my bed. His mouth moving down to the swell of my breasts. Kissing them both tenderling nuzzling his nose into each nipple until they were hard enough to cut glass. His mouth found purchase sucking the right breast into his mouth greedily. My back arched off the bed in ecstasy. His mouth was skilled and the heat pooled between my legs. I thrashed around begging for friction.

He ceased his relentless torture and moved to the next nipple. He gave it equal treatment while his eyes burned into mine as I moaned and writhed beneath him.

"Oh… Jasper." I moaned hoarsly.

His hand reached down tracing up and down my perfectly sculpted legs. Until my hips bucked upwards on their own accord forcing him to lightly touch my most sensitive area.

"You like that baby?" He asked huskily.

"Yes." I replied breathlessly.

He chuckled darkly and began the slow process of pulling off the remainder of my clothes. Once I was naked he leaned back his eyes devouring me hungrily. I bit my lower lip nervously, I felt exposed and vulnerable.

"You're worth it Bella." He whispered.

His lips trailed softly up my legs to the apex of my thighs. I was gasping my head thrashing backwards my hands gripping the sheets as I watched his honey locks move closer to my aching core. It was almost painful the arousal between my legs. His kissed my outer lips firmly causing me to hiss and force myself to stay still. I couldn't blink, I was watching him intently with fascination. His wet pink tongue trailed up my slit causing me to moan loudly.

"You taste so good. So good." he breathed.

I whimpered the desire building in the pit of my stomach. His mouth moved in slow deliberate licks. His tongue circling my clit making my hips thrust urgently.

"Patience." He chided.

He began licking and sucking at the sensitive flesh and I fell of the edge. Stars exploded behind my eyes and I screamed his name loudly my body shuddering pleasantly bringing me down from my high.

"Wow." I whispered.

He wasn't done, he disrobed and I made a move to return the favor but he stopped me. "No Darlin', let me love you." he pleaded.

He climbed up embracing me to his chest. I could taste the sweet but tart flavor of myself on his lips, as our tongues began to duel.

His hardness was pressed into my thigh and I relaxed looking up at him expectantly.

"I love you." He declared before plundging deep inside my waiting core. My muscles contracted around him. He filled me the way no one has ever before and I clung to him.

Our bodies moved together in a dance as old as time. "Fuck you're so tight." He growled.

"I'm so close." I breathed my body meeting his thrust for thrust.

The echos of our pants and moans and the sound of granite on granite surrounded us. My breathing became even more labored as he slowed to a torturously slow pace.

"Come for me Bella. Come on my thick cock." He comanded.

My breathing hit a crescendo as I exploded around him. "JASPER! Oh… FUCK! I love you, I love you, I love you." I screamed my eyes rolling back into my head.

I felt him stifen and begin to pulse inside me. His seed filled me and my pussy milked him relentlessly.

He collapsed on top of me feeling extremely satisfied. "You're worth it Bella. I won't stop fighting for you."

"I don't want you to…"

**A/N**

**Not quite as long as my usual chapters but it has a nice lemon in there and we're seriously progressing things between Bella and Jasper. :D We'll find out more about Carlisle's feeling towards Esme and the betrayal soon. Also Tanya will make an appearance. :D It'll be fun! Leave some love. And I'm sorry it took me this long!**


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